[Star Trek] Journey to Babel: All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Captain Kirk

( Lesson One: Sharing Is Caring, Except for Vulcans )

( Lesson Two: Never Trust Your In-Laws )

( Lesson Three: Be Wary of Secret Vulcan Arts; They Are Never the Fun, Dirty Kind )

( Lesson Four: Don't Allow Doctors Unsupervised Access to the Ones You Love )

( Lesson Five: If You Get Stabbed, Phone Home )

( Lesson Six: Fake It Until You Make It )

( Lesson Seven: Keep Your Enemies Close, but Keep Your Injured Loved Ones Closer )