Keep Hoping Machine Running

Tonight, Best Beloved basically demanded that I stop reading meta and recommend some happymaking vids. So, as a tribute to her: pairing vids. That make me ridiculously happy.

The One That Makes Maybe the Best Use of the Throttling-on-the-Bridge Footage Yet. Must Be Dreaming, by YouTube vidder bluefairy1113, who apparently also has done a Reboot Chekov vid to Dancing Queen, proving she is either a genius or a maniac, and either way, we may need to confine her for everyone's good. Star Trek, James Tiberius Kirk/Spock.

(Note: This vid pretty much takes jerky, stuttery editing to an artform. I'm just saying. It can almost give me a headache, and usually visual stuff doesn't do that to me.)

Okay. So. I admit it, I am totally a sucker for - well. Let's just make a list of all the things I am sucker for?

• SPOCK. OMG HIS POINTY EARS I LOVE THEM.
  
• Also, Kirk.
  
• Also, anything based on that Reboot trope where Old Spock gave Kirk more than just the voiceover exposition in that mindmeld.

So, obviously I am not rational on the first point (true fact: I have been entertaining myself for the past week by mentally vidding TOS Spock to Justin Timberlake's Sexyback; I think my claims of irrationality have now been amply proven), and the second point's an issue for me as well, and the third one. But. I know I love this vid because of the vid it is, and not just because it happens to hit three of my current buttons, because it had a lot working against it, too.

Like, I have never recommended a vid that was only on YouTube before. I like more permanent links, and my experience with streaming video sites has demonstrated that ephemeral is more the adjective they're going for with respect to vids. And, also, I have seen another vid to this song, and it is a famous vid, and justly so. It is a Big Name Vid. And I honestly did not think I could ever watch another vid to this song without thinking of that BNV and making comparisons.

But here, I can. I do. I love this vid, and I love the song choice, and it has possibly the best clip in the world for the line "don't stop," and, just. This is really awesome, okay? And I am not just saying that because I have some Trek issues right now.

The One with the Best Clip EVER for the Lyric, "You've Got the Only Thing I Want." Mmm-HMM. I Just Bet. I'm the Cat, by Nicole (does she have a link, anyone?), wickedwords, sherrold, and feochadn. Highlander, Methos/Duncan MacLeod. (Please tell me I am not the only person who, every single time she writes that name, has to go back and delete the "of the clan MacLeod" part.)

Okay, this vid was made more than a decade before the first one, which in vidding terms is roughly the same as the time between the Statherian period and the Triassic. And yet they are both such awesome vids and they both get totally to the heart of these pairings (for me, anyway; feel free to share with me your equally valid opinion on them, but do keep in mind that I keep a whole roll of tinfoil in my lower desk drawer). Because, okay, the first one is all:

Kirk: I totally have no interest in you.
Spock: Likewise, but more so.
Kirk: Except...
Spock: I have evaluated the data and am 87.6% certain there can be no exceptions.
Kirk: Well, except for the fact that I, uh, kind of want you so much it's making me crazy, I was going to say.
Spock: In that case, Captain, I believe the appropriate human phrase to use is, "My place or yours?" Keep in mind I have 117 lubricating preparations ready made.

Whereas this one is like:

Duncan: I am serious and important! I care! Things matter to me!
Methos: I know, and it's cracking me up.
Duncan: We have a destiny!
Methos: But do we have beer, that's my question.
Duncan: And that destiny in no way involves any sexual interaction between us.
Methos: I hate the prudish eras. I'm out of here. Give me a call when hedonism comes back in.
Duncan: I won't.
Methos: Fine.
Duncan: Good riddance. I don't miss him at all.
Methos: Hi, I'm back. I brought you a penis gourd. Miss me?
Duncan: YES. LET'S FUCK RIGHT NOW.
Methos: Yay, hedonism!

Ummmmmm. I now realize I may have just exposed my irrationality more than I really want to in any one recs post, which is a problem, because I still have two more recs to go. I'm going to have to be super dignified and sane during them. So let me just note that you should check out the awesome body language in the clips they use here - Methos actually looks like a cat in a lot of them. It's amazing.

Now. More recs. With dignity! Probably!

The One That Proves That Space Bars Are Where All the Best Action Takes Place. Why Is There No TV Series Set in a Space Bar? Hurricane, by laurashapiro. Battlestar Galactica x Farscape. Aeryn Sun/Starbuck, and if that pairing alone doesn't make you sit up and cheer, I just don't even know what to say to you.

Okay. So. I watched this vid completely without knowing anything about it. (True fact: Best Beloved and I watch vids together, so I just download everything into one big folder using whatever filename the vidder gave it, and then usually much later we try to guess, based on file name alone, what fandom the vid is for. There is a victory dance when someone gets it right. Although sometimes this strategy backfires, like when, recently, we watched a vid with a filename that we could not help but read as, "Me. I'M on fire!" Which we loved so much it made it really hard to watch the video - we just kept turning to each other and insisting, dramatically and with much handwaving, that we were totally the ones on fire.) And at first I thought it was one of those compare and contrast vids, which, hey, I love those. And Aeryn and Starbuck have a lot in common, so that makes -

And then I realized what Laura was actually doing, and I believe I squeaked. Maybe even squealed. Because oh my fucking god there is no hotter pairing in the world than these two, and this is a crossover pairing (which in vidding is one of those things you totally shouldn't do, except sometimes you totally should and this is one of those times) so perfectly done I'm never going to be able to convince myself it didn't happen in canon. Seriously. In my head, Aeryn and Starbuck had a night of hot, mind-blowing, blowing-off-steam sex, and it was awesome. The end.

I also want to point to what Laura does with the, um, sexytimes clips, here. I have no idea if these clips came from canon, or if so, what canon (I have seen some eps of Farscape, although I tragically missed the Aeryn Tops one, and no eps at all of BSG), but, wow. Usually when there are explicit sequences in vids based on less explicit canons, I have one of two conversations with Best Beloved:

Me: What's happening? I can't figure out what's going on.
BB, with practiced patience: This is porn. You can't scan the clips fast enough to see it. Again.
Me, bewildered: It's porn?
BB, dragging the pointer back and hitting pause: THAT is a penis.
Me, surprised: So it is.
BB: And see how it's going into that ass right there?
Me: I would never have noticed that!
BB: Why is that you read all the NC-17 fan fiction but I'm always the one who has to look at all the cocks?
Me: Luck!

Or:

Me: Oh god, that's totally not the same person.
BB: What?
Me: Look how different their bodies are! And how differently they move! And how their heights -
BB: But they have the same hair color. You're supposed to be paying attention to that.
Me: I can't. I - look, that one has a tattoo. I think it says "Mom." You can't tell me Faith has a tattoo that says "Mom" on it.
BB: You're supposed to be looking at their HAIR COLOR. And their BREASTS.
Me: There were breasts?

It's tragic, is what it is. But my point is, we had neither of these conversations. No matter how many times we went back to check, we still just saw Starbuck and Aeryn having sex. (I - I did not mind putting in the extra viewings. For the record. Sometimes due diligence is pure pleasure, people.)

This is something everyone should see. I don't care if you don't watch Farscape. I don't care if you can't remember if Starbuck is the girl or the guy pilot on BSG (girl, for the record). This the story of two pilots who fuck each other, and it is hot like burning, and you should watch it right now.

The One Where I Swear Ianto Says "Fuck" Really Obviously on Camera. Are They Actually Allowed to Talk Like Grownups on British TV? A Curious Thing, by tavven. Torchwood, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones.

Okay, in some things, I am easy. And here is where I am easy in vids: if you make me laugh, I am yours. And this vid makes me laugh my ass off. I mean, we were watching it, all - ooo, serious Torchwood vid. And then there was a skipping noise, and suddenly we had changed tracks to Cheesefest Love Vid. It was wonderful.

Because - okay. How did I not realize that Jack Harkness needed an '80s soundtrack? This vid makes it so obvious that I basically have to hit myself on the forehead when I think of all the time I wasted not imagining Jack to these songs. Where is the Torchwood vid to Like a Virgin? Mickey, by Toni Basil? Love Shack, by the B-52s? Relax, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood? I just - I cannot get over how perfect this is. Jack looks right against the background of 1980s cheese, and this vid works that perfectly.

This vid is, basically, a fairytale. Once upon a time, there was a young prince named Ianto. He went on a heroic quest to save the woman he loved. He entered the dragon's lair under false pretenses and lured the dragon into being friends.

And then it turned out the dragon was really pretty hot, and kind of lovable, and he ended up in love with the dragon and fucking it on its hoard pretty much every night, which was okay, because the dragon had learned a thing or two in all that time he'd been alive, plus he was in love with the prince, and they decided to live happily ever after. The end.

And that, my friends, is the power of love.

(Let me just warn you, though, that proximity to Jack Harkness can warp the meaning of lyrics out of true; I now hear "Don't need no credit card to ride this train" as a totally cheesy pickup line. Come on. You can't tell me he didn't use it a time or two back in 1985.)

I keep a list of vids I want to rec, divided into three main categories: Dark, Neutral, and Lighter. (There are also a lot of minor categories, like LOL Animation and OMG Pairings. This is why it takes me so long to rec things: I have to translate my notes into English. Anyway.) The idea behind this was to keep all the vids in a given set roughly the same level of cheerfulness.

And then I realized that that is totally stupid. After all, I don't watch them that way. When I watch an especially painful vid, I like to follow it up with something from the Lighter list. It's the vid version of hurt/comfort. So for this set, I'm doing hurt/comfort vid pairs. You can watch the hurty ones totally securely, knowing that your safety vid is the very next rec.

The One That Makes Me Wonder If There's a Rule on Supernatural That Everyone Has to Have That Black Eye Thing at Least Once. Rabbit-Hearted Girl (Raise It Up), by ancastar. Supernatural.

I have no idea who the first main character of this vid is. She could be basically anyone, since almost all the women of Supernatural that I've seen (in vids, naturally) have been skinny, blonde, and white; in fact, given that this is, you know, a supernatural story, with ghosts and the undead and so on, I wasn't 100% sure she wasn't Mary Winchester until I saw her making out with one of the guys. (I have to believe that if Supernatural had gone the undead intergenerational incest route, I would have seen some commentary on it from one of you. For the record: canonical undead intergenerational incest is something you should post about if you see it. It's a new fannish rule that I'm making.)

I don't know who the second main character is, either, but I am guessing she's the first one's mother. Which just makes the line about raising up the offering extra painful, and also extra appropriate.

But even though neither Best Beloved nor I could identify the women this vid is about, we cared about them; it turns out that three minutes is totally enough to get invested. (It probably didn't help that, given the blondeness and the badassness and the general atmosphere of, you know, supernatural stuff, I associated the younger one in my head with Buffy. This led to expectations that probably didn't help me deal all that well with the end of the vid.) We cared about them, we liked them, and we both ended the vid actually crying. That is a feat of vidding roughly equivalent to writing a complete story, including both a mystery and a romance, in 100 words - taking us from "who the hell is that?" to "OH MY GOD NOOOOOO" in one viewing of a single vid is impressive. And that's why I'm recommending it: it made me care. It made the life of these fictional women matter to me, even though I only knew them as two of the Anonymous Blondes of Supernatural.

The One That Proves That the Only Thing Kinkier Than Duct Tape Is a MythBuster. James Bondage, by thingswithwings. MythBusters.

I have a careful system of downloading vids that keeps me from associating any information about the vid with the filename. Also, just to increase the confusion, I don't watch things right after I download them. (I have some vids that have been waiting for years to be watched. This is the nature of The System, from which we do not deviate.) So I looked at the file name of this vid and thought, "She actually made a vid to James Bondage? This will be worth seeing." (Because I have long been amused by the song.)

And then I saw the intro, and I shrieked loudly enough to be heard in the kitchen, where Best Beloved was feeding the earthling. Apparently I made a lot of noise during the vid (mostly "OH MY GOD" and giggling, I suspect), because Best Beloved came into the computer room and said, "What are you watching?"

"You really need to see this," I told her. I sat her down in front of the computer and pushed play, and she made exactly the same noises. Even though she is the dignified one in this relationship. And I was not surprised.

See, we've actually watched several seasons of Mythbusters, which is not nearly as challenging for me as most TV - in fact, we loved them so much we brought them with us to labor and delivery, and I am terribly sad that season 6 and 7 are not on DVD yet - and one of the things we could not help but notice is that Adam and Jamie have a somewhat singular interaction style. Which is a management-speak way of saying that they don't just have subtext: they have kinky subtext. (We used to imagine the build team explaining things to new hires. "It's going to seem kind of kinky," we imagined Kari saying, "but don't worry. They only do it to each other." We figured Grant probably said, in response, "That's... good?" Tori probably said, "Dude, bummer. So who's going to hit me, then?") Even the announcer usually seems to be slashing Adam and Jamie.

But knowing that, all of that, did not prepare me for this vid - nothing could have. So I will say to you what I said to Best Beloved:

You really need to see this. (Even if you don't watch Mythbusters at all! Although you should try a few episodes. Experiments and explosions and bondage: it's like it was made for people like us.) This is all genuine footage, people! And somehow they still manage to show this on regular television.

The One Where, in Addition to All the Other Horrors, We See Someone Eat a Whole Maraschino Cherry. What? I Have Maraschino Cherry Issues. It Depends on What You Pay, by giandujakiss. Dollhouse.

Probably the subtitle of this one should be "You May Notice That Dollhouse Has Some Subtle Issues." Truly, this is one of the most horrifying vids I've ever seen that didn't involve either a serial killer or Key the Metal Idol. And unlike with the serial killers (and Key the Metal Idol), it isn't really the imagery that's horrifying; it's what's behind every scene. I don't think I'd even understand this vid if I didn't know a little bit about Dollhouse. But I do. Sort of. What I have gleaned through fannish osmosis is that Dollhouse is about people, mostly women, used as helpless puppets for many things, including sex, which for some reason is not considered rape.

So when I watch this vid, all I can think about is that probably none of these women are actually consenting, or even able to consent, to what's happening to them. (Okay, no. That's the main thing I think about. But I also spend some time wondering why Joss Whedon is so obsessed with sticking needles into women's heads, which is frankly something I didn't want to see in one canon, never mind two. Do men never need a needle to the brain? Or is that just a girl thing? And do girls really need them that often?) Because of that, the part of this that I find the absolute ookiest - the thing that makes me flinch and look away from the scene as though someone just pulled out a chainsaw while laughing maniacally - is near the end, when there's an unconscious woman, and a guy is moving her head around, sort of playing with her, making the whole puppet thing way too explicit. It makes my flesh try to crawl off my body and go hide under the bed.

And, hey, despite the whole Consent? What Consent? thing, this is also a gorgeous vid. And, for me, a really surprising one; I usually have a hard time with vids to music from musicals (um, there had to be a better way to phrase that), and I admit I kind of cringed when I saw the title page. (Three minutes later, it was entirely evident to me that I should have cringed, but not at all for the reason I did.) But this is a perfect song choice and a perfectly-done vid. The fact that it will make you want to go take a shower, possibly while still wearing all your clothes, is just a bonus.

The One That Will Leave Me Forever Wondering about Vampire Curling. Do They Sweep Faster Than Lightning? Kung Fu Fighting, by chamalla. Twilight.

I am not a Twilight fan. I've never read the books, I've never seen the movies, and my familiarity with the characters comes entirely from watching my twenty-month-old child stare soulfully at Edward posters. (True and embarrassing fact: I bought him some Twilight paper plates at Target last week. His whole face lit up when he saw them, so I let him hold them and hoped that maybe he'd forget about them by the time we got to the checkout and I could put them back, but he gripped them tightly all the way through the store; he wouldn't even let them go so the checker could scan them.) So maybe it is just because I live with the Littlest Robert Pattinson Fan, but this vid made me laugh my ass off.

I mean, okay, the song is - yeah. But I cannot think of a better song for what appears to be footage of vampire teenagers playing baseball using their secret vampire powers. (Said powers consisting, let me add, mostly of being attached to wires. I am surprised I couldn't see the wires in some of the leaping shots, really.) It's just - okay. When I think "epic vampire battle," I don't think in terms of baseball caps and those tight Capri-style pants. (Is there a name for those pants?) It just loses something when the worst possible result of a major vampire-on-vampire showdown is someone getting the third out.

But this vid. Oh, this vid loses nothing. Every time I watch it, I giggle harder and harder: vampire baseball! Wire-assisted leaps (spoiler: there are a lot of leaps)! Random floor explosions! The dramatic midair collisions! And, of course, the part where they break what appears to be every single window in Forks (it is Forks, right?), Washington.

I tell you what: there is nothing to provide comfort after some extremely hurty consent issues like vampire baseball.

(Also, important question I have after watching this vid: do Twilight vampires ever have, you know, expressions? Even I could tell that these people were somewhat flat of affect, and Best Beloved seemed actually disturbed by it.)

I have been patiently plugging away on my Sweet Charity recommendations set, which happens to feature unhappy endings, so I've also been spending a lot of time - really a lot of time - watching vids that make me happy. And I figured, hey, why not put together a set of those, too? You guys may need the antidote after the unhappy endings set comes out.

And while we're talking about unhappy endings: Best Beloved and I planned to buy life insurance a year ago. And we, um, didn't, largely because it's hideously intimidating. But we've finally accepted that we have to, whether we would rather just have oral surgery or not, and we've also finally realized that possibly there is a person out there who actually knows about life insurance, who can provide us with advice that doesn't come coated in a layer of ooze. (Why YES, we are in fact afraid of life insurance salesmen. Does it show?) So: life insurance advice, anyone?

The One with the Deeply Symbolic Model Spaceship. No, Really. DEEPLY SYMBOLIC. Don't Stop Believing, by arefadedaway. Star Trek.

I love it when a new fandom hits big, because then you get vids like this. I'm sure there's an official term for them that I don't know, but I think of them as zeitgeist vids, and they are fun. They're like all the enthusiasm and sudden-onset glee - that same first flush of fannish love that keeps people up all night reading stories they know will be terrible because they just Need More Spock, or whoever - rendered in vid form.

Zeitgeist vids pretty much always get me into a fandom. I am helpless in their grasp. I, of course, have not seen this source - the last movie I saw in theaters was Iron Man, and probably the next one will be Star Trek 11 - but it doesn't matter. I am prepared to buy what this vid is selling. Kirk! Just a city boy! Spock! A small town girl! They take a midnight train going anywhere! See, I am already giddy with love and joy and fannish enthusiasm.

It used to be that my OTPs were set in stone by the first five stories I read in a fandom; these days, it's the vids I see before I read even one story, more often than not. And by the end of this vid, and the other - um, what are the official initials for this fandom? It's so new I haven't seen a consensus yet! - anyway, after this and the other zeitgeist vids in whatever fandom this happens to be, I am prepared to ship Kirk/Spock. Unless someone can point me to a seriously bouncy Spock/Uhura or Kirk/McCoy or whatever vid. (And let me tell you how proud I am of knowing those names: SO PROUD, because one of the downsides of zeitgeist vids is that they often leave me saying, "I love you! Whoever you are! You are shiny and awesome, and, wow, I guess I'd better hit the IMDb.")

The One with the Cleanest Medieval Peasant Village I Ever Did See. Beverly Hills, by giandujakiss. Merlin.

It's the old, old story: a small town girl, living in a lonely world - no, wait. Wrong vid. This old, old story is about a small town boy who goes to the Big Shiny and uses magic, often totally inappropriately, and saves the world from time to time, and spends most of the rest of his time falling in love. This is a deeply classic narrative - I dare you say otherwise, given the enormous body of Harry Potter fan fiction I can bring to support my case - and I love it.

And so I love this vid. It was one of the very first Merlin vids I saw, and it made me love the fandom. (Why, yes, I am a sucker for vids. It is not my fault; I blame - I don't know. laurashapiro, actually. She encouraged me.) I deeply approve of young-man-big-city narratives, particularly when the big city has turrets. And, yes, I am in fact talking about Arthur, there, because you can't tell me he doesn't spend a lot of time admiring his turrets, and you also can't tell me Merlin isn't secretly doing the same.

This vid takes fabulous advantage of Merlin's ability to look gormless while simultaneously profoundly judging those around him. I admire it greatly. And the opening makes me smile every single time.

The One That Conveys the Fundamental Joy of Being Able to Stop Time and Teleport, Which Is a Thing You Would Think People Would Just Know, but It's Amazing How Often They Act Like It's a Big Burden. Sawatte Kawatte, by laurashapiro. Heroes.

I think of this as the Happy Heroes Vid. No, really. Every Heroes vid I download seems to consist of a) people getting their brains eaten and then lying around dead with no skull on or b) a girl killing herself (or sometimes just mutilating herself) horribly and bloodily. Sometimes it's both. In the vids, if you don't know the fandom, it looks like Heroes is largely about people using their superpowers to cause tons of bloodshed and draw comic books, and the thing is, you don't need superpowers to do those things. Humans manage that just fine without any special abilities at all! A knife and a pen and you're all set!

Which is why I love the characters in this vid, and am sad that in so many vids they are Sirs Not Appearing in This Vid. The one guy has superpowers and actually does things with them, and I mean things that don't in any way involve anyone bleeding and/or dying horribly. (Okay, he does seem to have a sword, but I bet he doesn't go around lopping people's heads off and having their brains out like some mutant zombie Highlander.) He saves people! He does neat tricks! He has fun! It's like he actually understands what superpowers are for. I cannot help but feel, watching this vid, that the main character of it watched the SF movies and read the comic books, and all the other people in the show grew up on an unadulterated diet of horror.

So I like that. It's a Heroes vid that makes me happy. And even more happy-making is the sheer joy of these two guys together. They are two sides of the same coin, to quote almost every other fandom in this set. They neeeeeeed each other. And when they hug, my heart turns handsprings. It is that simple.

The One Featuring the Most Fabulous Group of People You'd Shoot in Preference to Spending Any Time with Them. I'll Be There for You, by dualbunny. Black Books.

I will be perfectly honest: I have no idea if this vid will work for you if you haven't seen an episode of Black Books. (I myself have seen the first one, which puts me in an unusual and, frankly, uncomfortable place of Actual Canon Knowledge.) But give it a try anyway, and if it doesn't make you giggle, watch the first episode of Black Books and then come back. It's worth it.

See, okay. First, this song. It's - now, it's not like I don't like it, but it's a bit goopy, you know? Whenever I hear it, I visualize a lot of hugging. It is obviously talking about the kind relationship wherein party A automatically has tissues before party B has even started to cry. (And they watch the same sad movie almost every Friday night, so that's not such a huge surprise.) I admire that kind of relationship! I do! Just, you can only take so much of hugging and thoughtfulness.

Which is why I find that song used for these people to be awesome, because they're the kind of friends who, if they settled down to watch a tearjerker movie after one of them had had a big breakup, would end up accidentally setting the crying person on fire. And then Bernard would light a cigarette from the flames.

And, actually, I think that comes through very clearly in this vid whether you know the source or not, so I've changed my mind: I do recommend it for the source-unfamiliar. Just keep in mind that there are three main characters in the show: Bastard, Hapless, and In Any Other Group, She'd Be the Crazy Girl, but in This One, She's the Voice of Reason. And enjoy.

I'm going to Vividcon! And, in celebration, I have vid recs. But first, a VVC-related comment and poll:

( VVC! )

The One That Will Have You Looking Suspiciously at Cherry Stems Forever. Handlebars, by flummery. Doctor Who.

This is - well. This is the Doctor. End of story. This is the Doctor in every respect and every detail. The first time I watched this, I was basically clapping in glee from the very first line, and then it got better. And better. And better. And eventually it achieved such amazing levels of betterness that I still haven't entirely recovered. This vid rendered me incoherent. Permanently.

I don't want to tell you how it gets better - if you've somehow missed this vid and this song, just go watch it. You will not be the sorrier. In fact, even if you have no idea who this Doctor person is (He travels through time. With friends. It's complicated.), still go watch it, because after you see this, you will most definitely know.

I once thought I preferred vids about companions (Or enemies, or Daleks. Why are there no Dalek vids? There are lots of good vids songs for them! One is the loneliest number! Make a Circuit with Me! The Macarena!) to vids about the Doctor. And that's still true. But what I think is - my brain knew that this vid was coming, and decided it might just as well wait for perfection.

The One That Demonstrates Why You Might Not Want to Make Pegasus Galaxy Your Vacation Destination. Well, Yes, Life-Sucking Monsters. But It Gets Much Worse Than That, Actually. Open Secrets of the Pegasus Galaxy, by yevgenie. Stargate: Atlantis.

Okay, first: this is her first vid, you guys. How is this her FIRST VID?

Second: this is the vid that says everything we all know about SGA and don't talk about. Basically, I'd sum that up as: no one gets out of Pegasus clean. (In fact, you mostly don't get out at all. This vid makes that point, too.) The Wraith are the enemy, but how are they different than Atlantis, given some of the decisions the home team makes? The Ancients are (supposed to be, and oh my god, so not, so skeevy) the good guys, but look how badly they fucked Pegasus over. The open secret of Pegasus seems to me to be that everyone fails, falls, dies, fucks up, and fucks over. No heroes.

And now I'd like to talk about the song. Because, see, I love Leonard Cohen. I occasionally fantasize about marrying one of his songs. But I have always considered him basically unviddable. Turns out, nope! I just didn't have the right vision, because oh my god how this song works - works for the vid, works for the theme, works works works. Even if this vid didn't say something I've always wanted someone to say about SGA, I would still love it to pieces, because it's a vid to Leonard Fucking Cohen. That sound you just heard was my heart growing three sizes.

(FIRST. VID. HOW? HOW?)

The One That Is Evidence for the Prosecution. Climbing up the Walls, by obsessive24. Supernatural, Firefly, and Heroes.

Sooooo. I'm trying to think how to put this. Okay, let's start with this: INCEST. This vid is about incest. And it pulls no punches. Actually, it - you know those video games where, if you hit like nine million buttons in exactly the right order while standing on one foot and whistling Dixie, your character will rear back, grow a robo-claw, and rip another character's head off and eat it? This is the kind of punch this vid has.

And it's just. Fucking. Brilliant. You will be glad your head has been ripped off and eaten by this vid.

What we have here is an incest narrative with all the fanon taken out. Yeah, sure, there are three sibling pairings, here, but it almost doesn't matter; the central story is the same for all of them: fucked-up families, needy and vulnerable younger sibling, obsessively protective older sibling, and then the robo-claw comes out. But the point is: this vid is awesome, and so incredibly rich (there's so much here I could write several lengthy essays about this, for reals), and brutally real. And the brutality should in no way scare you off. (You weren't using that head anyway. And, hey, who doesn't want to see a robo-claw?)

The One That Would Give Charles Darwin Nightmares. (No, Really. He Was a Very Sensitive Man.) Unnatural Selection, by charmax. Battlestar Galactica and Terminator.

My love for robots is well-documented. At this point, I don't think I need to tell you that sometimes I'm rooting for the robots. But, um. The robots in this vid don't need any humans in their cheering squad; they're doing just fine by themselves. (And, yes, my love for robots can totally survive this vid. I imprinted on robots early and well.)

I don't know either of the sources for this vid. It totally does not matter. (I didn't know any of the sources for obsessive24's vid, either. Cluelessness is my comfort zone!) The basic message is very clear to anyone who grew up on hard science fiction: we're going to build the next stage. And then it's going to destroy us. (Mine was, yes, a cheerful childhood, always anticipating the moment the machines/metahumans/genetically engineered blobs would rise up and take over. In my day, we didn't need violent video games to prepare us for the apocalypse.)

I love this vid so much, which is a strange thing to say about something that's equal parts dead humans, robotic overlords, and various apocalypses. (Like a Jonathan Coulton album! Except not funny. Really not.) But it's gorgeous and so brilliantly edited and it does in three minutes what it took science fiction a childhood to do for me. Watch. Learn. And fear the future.

Not last time but the time before (although I am still totally on my deadline, so there), I signed up for Sweet Charity. The person who won me was adbaculum. Probably everyone who sells herself for charity has a moment of terror when she gets the request, but adbaculum's was actually pretty cool. Basically, she wanted me to rec some vids that might show her why vidding is cool, since she doesn't watch vids much.

I thought, I can so totally do that. Then, of course, I got eaten by the Meta Lizards. They come for you in the dead of night and make your posts three hundred pages long.

But! I persevered. I wrote the whole post, hacked pages and pages of meta back out of it (in addition to Meta Lizards, I am apparently tragically afflicted by a writing disorder that prevents me from ever shutting up), and I think - I hope - I now have something kind of close to what she wanted.

In any case, I'm going for it. adbaculum, thank you for buying me, for being such an awesome winner, and for having such an interesting request. Most of all, thank you for donating to charity. <3!

( Why vids? )
( Which vids? )
( What's worth watching in vids? )

So. I have emerged from my traditional Yuletide-related November and December catatonia to the equally traditional late-December intimations of Yuletide doom. (I have written a terrible story that my recipient will surely hate! WOE.) (No, really, Yuletide is lots of fun, I love it every year and I advise everyone to do it. I just have the dooooooom right now.)

And many people are currently gearing up for either a joyous celebration of goodwill and family or a grim marathon of conspicuous consumption and shouting. (If the former, Merry Christmas! If the latter, courage - Christmas comes but once a year, and on Boxing Day I think you're allowed to hit something.) I do believe it's time for a few good vids.

The One That Proves That Bad Guys Really Do Have More Fun. Don't Stop Me Now, by charmax. Doctor Who.

I really do love the Doctor. (Most of all, I love the TARDIS, but the Doctor is a very close second.) I have even seen a whole season of Doctor Who, and I really liked it. So I find it kind of odd that when I truly love a DW vid, it often either a) is about a non-Doctor character or b) has a message I don't actually believe, like "Wow, the Doctor is a total tool." (Like, the other vid I considered recommending in this set was pretty much, "the Doctor ruins lives! If he comes near you, your only hope of future happiness is to punch him in the teeth and flee!")

This is a vid about the Master, who is definitely a non-Doctor character. I know almost nothing about the Master - he's a Time Lord, he's, um, yeah, that's pretty much where it ends - but I will say that, from this vid, it looks like he's the Doctor without brakes. He's also a tremendous amount of fun.

Too often, you see people who are cast down by the burdens of being bad, all crushed under the weight of taking over the world. Which, I mean - live a little, bad guys. No reason to be all angsty. Own your villainy! If you're going to put people in graves, at least have the courtesy to dance on them. And in this, the Master could serve as an inspiration to us all; he does not seem to suffer from Bad Guy Trauma, and he looks like he would dance on any grave you cared to fill. He might even have his own special song to sing while dancing on graves, and if he does, it would be a happy song. I respect that immensely.

And that is why you should totally watch this vid, even if you don't know the canon, even if you have no idea what a Time Lord is, even if you vaguely thought Doctor Who was some kind of medical show focusing on amnesia. This vid will, I promise you, bring a smile to your face even if you're expecting the Doctor to show up with a stethoscope and some memory cards. And if you couldn't pick the Master out of a crowd, not a problem. He's the really happy one. So come! Watch him take over the world with flair and style.

(If you do happen to know the canon, could you tell me what's up with the end bit of this vid, with the kid and the ring? It seems to be suggesting that the Master will rise again, but for all I know it could be a scene from an entirely different source.)

It's Like Slash Goggles for Normal People! Four Years, by Fabella, aka wistful_fever. Stargate: Atlantis.

OMG EEEEEEEEE <3!

Sorry. That really needed to be said. It's the summary of everything that follows, and, really, you can probably skip all my hysterical babbling and just go watch the vid if you'd rather. (This is the recommended course of action.)

But if you're curious about why I'm recommending this even though everyone else on earth has and also it only came out about five minutes ago - um. I can probably find something to say that isn't just dolphin noises. Let me just take a few breaths first.

Okay. Actual English-language commentary commences now. This is the classic, the perfect slash vid. If, in the future, anyone is looking to define the slash vid as a genre, I suggest just smacking this vid down and saying, "Watch." Fabella here shows what source looks like through slash-o-vision, and she does it a) mostly through body language (watch John!), which made me bounce up and down like a little girl, and b) with a narrative.

Because, okay, let's face it. Slash vids are fun when you're deeply into a pairing, but they can sometimes leave you a little bit, "Um. Yes, they're so totally doing it. And...?" Or, at least, they can if you're me, although I am well-known to be equipped with a heart made entirely of recycled tires and crustaceans. (The Grinch is my second cousin. Heart problems run in our family.) But this vid - there's a story in here, a classic slash narrative, and that just makes the vid, turns it from just another slash vid to the ultimate slash vid.

I mean, yes, fine. It's also perfectly (and interestingly) cut, with a great song choice and brilliant clip selection and all that. Yes. It is. But the heart of this vid, for me, is the slash, the pining, the story. (John is in love, and Rodney needs to be clonked on the head a few times.) And although you probably need to be into this pairing to love this vid, even if you're not, it's worth watching because - well, I don't think it can get any better than this.

(Also: OMG EEEEEEEEE <3!)

The Vid That Will Rise Again, and Keep Rising Until You Just Give in and Watch It, So Download It Already. You Will Not Be Sorry. All These Things That I've Done, by Lithium Doll, aka halcyon_shift. Angel the Series.

I dithered for a long time about recommending this one, because it was made for me. But I love it so much, and it makes me so happy, and I've waited almost a year to see if I love it less or want to recommend it less, and - well. Did I mention that I love it still, with all my (non-standard) heart? So, made for me be damned. I am still recommending it.

For me, this is Angel - Angel the series, Angel the person. This vid makes me think of a lot of things - well, I mean, five seasons, one vid, it's going to - but what I really think of is - okay. When I first heard this song, I thought it was just about Angel. When Lithium Doll asked me to explain how I thought it was about Angel, though, I kept talking about other people - Cordelia, Doyle, Wes, Gunn. And now, when I watch the vid, I think of Angel, yes, and I still love that big galoot, but mostly what I think of is something I saw in a Firefly vid: a hero is someone who gets other people killed. And it's interesting to me that a song that I thought was entirely about the hero's journey is actually, in vid form, a lot more about the people who support that journey, sometimes with their lives.

This vid also makes me happy because it's here, and for most of its pre-release existence, it could handily have won the Vid Least Likely to See Tomorrow award. I wasn't involved in the making of it at all, but I got regular updates, and they looked something like this:

LD: I have thirty seconds! Wanna see?
LD: I have a rough vid with blank spots!
LD: ...Now I don't have a computer.
LD: I have a new computer and a new draft!
LD: Um. Hard drives dead.
LD: Hard drives replaced. And now I have betas!
LD: The powers that be hate me and have taken my computer to prove it. Vid just about the only thing to survive. All betas lost. Also my will to live.
LD: I have resurrected the computer and the vid and am soldiering on, ever on. Shall we begin anew?
Me: For the love of god, post it before something ELSE dies.

What can we learn from this? Well, first, that Lithium Doll is a doughty fighter. And, second, that this is the vid that would not die - sort of an immortal, undead vid. But it sure got a lot of the files and hardware around it killed. In retrospect, I suppose we both should have been less surprised by this than we were.

But it hasn't gotten anything killed since its release (that I know about), so it's safe to download it and watch it now. And obviously you were meant to; a vid survives that many major computer disasters for a reason, people.

Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar. This Would Not Be One of Those Times. Detachable Penis, by the Media Cannibals: Sandy (sherrold), Alex (alexfandra), Gwyn (gwyn_r), Tina (who does not have a journal), and Rache (wickedwords); remastered by justacat. The Professionals.

Watching this for the first time earlier this year, I fully and clearly understood why justacat felt the need to digitally remaster this and thus preserve it for the fannish ages. Few vids have made me start laughing on the first clip, but this did. Actually, I was kind of giggling just from the opening screen, because people vidded this song! I would have bet, if you'd asked me, that this song was totally unviddable. I mean, it's a classic, yes - certainly a classic of penis minstrelsy - but it has spoken lyrics. And it's about a dude misplacing his detachable penis. These things do not say "vid song" to me. But that is why I am not a vidder, and also why the Media Cannibals are geniuses, because this is just about the best vid ever.

And, no, you don't need to know anything about the Professionals to watch this. (Trust me. At Vividcon, nestra did a pop quiz on me during a Pros vid. She said, "Which one is Doyle?" I had a fifty-fifty chance, and I got it wrong. My fannish shame is great, but my point is: I don't know from the Professionals.) Here's what you need to know: they're guys. With guns. And the Media Cannibals took those two salient facts and made - well. This vid.

It is wonderful and hysterical. It does a better job of cheering me up than all of YouTube. And it's about guns and penises. I don't see how anyone who calls herself a fangirl could not want to see this vid. And, thanks to justacat's dedicated remastering of the classics, you can. Go watch!

So. Hi! I've been recovering from surgery for the past, um, two and a half weeks. (For the record: ouch. But my defective part is gone now, and I am supposed to be nearly as good as new, at least when the swelling goes away. In the meantime, I have drugs.)

Fandom looks entirely different filtered through pain and pain medication, though, let me tell you. (It all goes really really fast, for one thing. I kept thinking, all the first week after the surgery, "How do they type so much? I can't even stay awake to read it all!" As you will see, though, I have remembered how we all type so much. Yay?)

One thing I did manage to do - in fact, I did it right after the surgery, so there's only a 30% chance any of it makes sense - was the first round of strangefandom. I was determined not to miss that no matter how many people came at me with small sharp knives. Because, basically, the minute I saw the project, I thought, "Yes. This was designed for me." See, it's a project where you watch vids in fandoms you know nothing about. And you crazy kids with your "watching of the television," you don't do that all that often. But I pretty much always do.

(Let me pause for a true story: a man came around the other day to sell us a different cable provider, and I was home clutching my stomach and blinking at dust motes, so of course I answered the door. He said, "So, who provides your cable now?"

I said, "We don't have cable." He just stood there, every line of his body clearly saying, "What? Who doesn't have cable?" He quite obviously didn't believe me. I'm not sure if it was just panic or what that made me confess to him that we also don't get regular television, but after that, I could tell he was thinking: "Alien or liar? It must be one or the other, and if I can just figure out which, I'll know if it's safe to leave this porch."

It was awkward, and I wanted to sit down, so I said, in an overly bright and cheerful tone, "Well, we do have a DVD player!" I don't know why I said it. I'd blame the drugs, but the truth is I thought it might make him feel better; I had clearly challenged his whole worldview. A man does not expect this when he enters door-to-door cable sales.

He said, "So, what, you," and there was a pause while he considered what a person without cable or regular TV might do with her life, "go to Blockbuster a lot?"

And I said, "Um. No." And then I apologized, although I'm not sure for what.

We stood there for some long, long seconds, and then he backed away and went to talk to our neighbors, who, luckily, definitely do have cable. I hope it made him feel better.)

Anyway, my point is: vids are often my first exposure to a fandom. Sometimes that's not the case; sometimes I've read stories in the fandom, and then it's all happy discovery: "That's JACK'S CABIN!" I remember squeaking happily to Best Beloved during one vid. "It's REAL!" Sometimes, though, I don't even know what the fandom is. (And, seriously - vidders, you would be doing me a great favor if you put the fandom in the vid's credits. I don't care how obvious you think it is. Trust me. I am capable of missing things much more obvious than that.) In that case, it's all a lot of glorious hypothesizing. (Me: "I think that guy is a bad guy. I mean, do good guys wear hats like that?" BB: "Does anyone wear hats like that?" Me: "Well, obviously in the future they do." And then we fervently agree that it's probably a good thing we won't live to see that particular time, which will likely be called the Century of the Bad Hat.)

My point is, strangefandom was just like that, except I got to write my initial crazy ideas down. While I was on drugs. And I think today one of my synopses will be posted, so you should all go over and check it out, because a) did I mention the drugs? and b) oh my god, you have to see the vid. sdwolfpup had to promise to explain the fandom to me in small words after it's all over; it's all gay sex and naked men and bad special effects.

So, in celebration of strangers in strange fandoms, I give you vid recs for fandoms that are vid-only for me. In other words, I'm going to suggest you watch vids in which I have no idea what's going on. Trust me! Come on, trust me! (Or just go to strangefandom. The people there will probably be funnier.)

( Vid recommendations this way. )

Yes. Because what is meta about anime vid feedback without anime vid recs? And these come in sets!

FLCL

Here's the thing about FLCL (Fooly Cooly). I have watched many vids using FLCL, and I have come to the conclusion that it contains infinity. It's a short series - 6 half-hour episodes - and yet AMV makers have created vids in just about every mood, theme, and style you can imagine using only that footage. (The, um, actual plot of the anime defies description - it's just, you know, an allegory about growing up, about the complications of life and love. And about having a giant robot burst from your forehead after you're hit on the head by an electric guitar. I think we've all been there.)

So for FLCL I've got two vids for you, and taken together, they represent almost everything I love about anime vids.

The One That Emphasizes the Importance of Keeping Your Eyes Peeled at All Times for Vespas. You Cannot Trust Vespas, People. Jerk It Out, by LenWidleheyt.

This is, in a word, spectacular. Except, of course, that I've got a lot more words, because when am I ever brief about anything? (I can be brief, for the record. I simply choose not to be. And, um, I've been making that choice pretty consistently since I learned to type, which is why it sometimes seems like - you know what? I'm not making things better, here. Time to move on.)

This is the shiny - and, really, "shiny" seems like much too mild a word; possibly instead I mean "explosive" - side of AMVs. It's flashy, effects-driven, fast-paced, and sharply edited. It also pretty accurately reflects the source - it's basically a souped-up, super-condensed, intense version of the series itself.

I love this vid because of the instant jaw-drop factor; it's stunning on the first watch, because it really shows off what anime editors (with pretty much infinite effort, patience, time, and - I'm assuming, here, but I feel it's a fairly safe assumption - beer) can do. This is the AMV equivalent of taking off on a rocket ship, basically.

And because it's FLCL, that rocket ship is powered entirely by sexual confusion and electric guitars.

The One That Got Me This Close to Writing a 5-8 Page Paper. Thank Whatever Power You Believe in for LJ Character Limits, People. I Mean It. Progress and Stress and Dream, by jbone. This one - well, okay, first: notice how it feels like it came from an entirely source than Jerk It Out. I mean, yes, the characters are the same, but everything else is different. See what I mean about FLCL? It is all things to all editors.

And what it is to this editor, in this vid - well, on the very basic level where my brain struggles with vid interpretation, this AMV uses footage from an allegorical anime to tell a related but different allegory, and oh my god that was just about the most boring sentence on the earth, wasn't it? I couldn't have made it more boring without using phrases like "constructivist objectivism." Wow.

So let me skip the descriptions (Adjectives! I'll miss you!) and move on to the song, instead. It's gorgeous (and I keep meaning to find a download of it, but at this point I expect I'll be watching this vid in my head whenever I listen to the song) - a sort of slow, sexy, intense, um...you know what? I'm right back with the adjectives. Let's skip this part, too.

Take three. What I can tell you is what I love about this vid, what I love to death about it. And that is the editing - the way the footage is matched to every single element of the song, from the story it tells to the music to the lyrics to the vocals to the everything. Because I'm not so good with visuals, it took me a long time and many repeat viewings to see everything that was happening on the screen, here - and yet this vid is the absolute opposite of frenetic. It's just - rich.

If Jerk It Out is a rocket ship, then Progress and Stress and Dream is a big vintage motorcycle, rumbling through the back alleys of some fantastic city on a distant planet. And it's powered by, well, Progress and Stress and Dream.

Yami no Matsuei (Descendants of Darkness)

Note: If you've never seen the series, my advice is to watch these vids in the order listed. On the other hand, if you have seen the series, you've probably already seen these vids.

The One That Shows That Nothing Goes with Violins Quite Like Pretty Dead Boys. Danse Macabre, by SarahtheBoring.

When I first watched Danse Macabre, I had no fucking clue what Yami no Matsuei even was, or why it was sometimes called Descendants of Darkness (answer: English title), or what it was about. Also, I spent a goodly portion of the AMV wondering which one of them was female (answer: none of the above). This shows how new I was to AMV watching, because now they all look unquestionably masculine. Anime. You learn as you go.

Anyway. This vid is a lovely summary vid - uses the music gorgeously and subtly to showcase seriously effective clips. And it pretty much tells you what the whole anime is about. (If you want to know in advance: a pair of dead bureaucrats who fight evil, their somewhat complex relationship with each other, and the many added complications introduced by Dr. Muraki, a not-dead mad scientist type who raped and killed one of the guys and is obsessed with the other one. (He blackmails him into a date, and then expects the date to go well. That's just the kind of awesomely mad scientist he is.) If you want more detail, either rent the series or read the intro notes to this vid.) It totally showcases the best parts of the series. (Fighting! Magical summoned beings! Crazed violinists! Vampires! Boys kissing! Really, if you want it, it's there. Unless you want, I don't know, a pony. I don't think there are any ponies. It's probably just as well for the ponies.)

The One That Conclusively Proves That There's No One Who Can't Work Multi-Colored Nail Polish. DDR Project 2nd Mix Track 05: Boys, by AbsoluteDestiny. (First, I need to explain something. This is a single track from one of the major multi-editor projects, Dance Dance Revolution (2nd Mix). So the parts at the beginning and the end sound weird because this AMV was designed to be played as part of a continuous mix of music vidded by different editors. The DDR projects are totally worth downloading, by the way.)

So. You know how, when you're a serial killer mad scientist - constantly working on your various projects of profound darkness, always with a lot on your twisted mind - sometimes you just need to unwind? By making yourself look pretty and chasing after equally pretty boys? That's a relatively universal experience, I think, and that's what this AMV is about. Trust me, you can totally relate to it.

The One That Asks, "How Far Would You Go for Your Country?" And Clearly Explains Why the Answer Should Be, "Not That Far, That's for Sure." Quid Pro Quo, by IcyCloud. It's, um. It's incredibly funny, and I can't really give you any details without spoiling it. Well, I think I can say that the casting is perfect, something you'll appreciate better after watching the other two vids. And that it's one of the few audio-clip-from-another-source humor vids I've seen where the vid is funnier than the original clip.

Crossovers

I know, I know. Crossover vids have a bad rap in the live-action world. (I suspect that's mostly because people use them to tell of the forbidden love triangle between Daniel Jackson, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Harley Quinn. Which, huh...no. No, I must be strong.) But they can be way neat, in live action or in anime, and these are definitely the height of neat. (Memo to me: find a better word for this than "neat." You sound like a fugitive from the '50s.)

So. Let's start with a classic, shall we?

The One That Gives Me an Entirely New Theory about Krispy Kreme. Tainted Donuts, by E-Ko. Cowboy Bebop x Trigun.

Now, first, I want to tell you a story. When I downloaded this, I knew nothing about anime. I watched it with Best Beloved. We had never seen Cowboy Bebop or Trigun; in fact, this was the first AMV we'd seen from either source. (If you're in that position - these are two of the most popular series out there, and they are quite extensively vidded, which is why it's weird, but don't worry. We all start out weird. And then, if we watch enough vids, we get weirder.) We had no idea who Vash the Stampede was.

And yet it was totally obvious that we were watching a work of great crossover genius.

Now, now, I can watch this and see the massive work that went into this, the brilliant way the creator combined two sources to make them seem to interact, work together, tell a coherent story. But then, I just barely saw the crossover. Mostly, I saw the story.

The story, for the record, is about bounty hunters pursuing a man who loves donuts.

Trust me when I tell you that this is extremely appropriate for both canons. Truly, these series were MFEO.

The One That Made Me Listen to Vanilla Ice. Until the Day, Everyone Would've Sworn It Could Not Be Done. Dueling Videos: Under Ice, by Scintilla. FLCL x Neon Genesis Evangelion.

And this was the first vid I'd ever seen use a mash up. I seriously thought my head would explode from joy. (Also, if my 6th grade English teacher had used this as an example of the compare/contrast form, well, I think we would've been spared at least a quarter's worth of lectures and examples and repetition. Or, at any rate, the repetition would've been way more interesting. Of course, she could not actually have done that, because a) she'd've been fired and b) this AMV hadn't been made yet. But still.)

Because it's a mash up, it's not exactly a crossover of the series - it's more of, well, a delightfully frothy blend of the animes. Like, you know, one of those disturbing beverages Starbucks comes up with. Except this one is mixed up in a beaker by a mad scientist. Who is probably giggling to himself while he does it.

And here's the thing: when I first watched this, I didn't recognize either source, which is almost as bad as not knowing Cowboy Bebop and Trigun. Didn't matter. (Of course, it gave me a seriously erroneous impression of Evangelion, but luckily there were three thousand vidders with Linkin Park on the spot to correct my misapprehension.)

The One That Explores Pizza As a Totally Valid Lifestyle Choice. I Approve. The Prince and the Kappa, by SarahtheBoring. Revolutionary Girl Utena x Saiyuki.

This one is just - I can't - okay. Here's what you need to know about these two sources: in Utena, there is a guy called Touga. To the best of my knowledge - and fuck knows I've never seen the series - he's rich, handsome, and popular, and he thinks he's the hottest thing since a dick in a box, but he is not quite all that. In Saiyuki, there's a guy called Gojyo. He's your basic whoring, smoking, drinking low-life. (And thus, obviously, an ideal role model for all.)

And what SarahtheBoring did is cast these guys as the Prince and the Pauper. As performed by Moxy Früvous.

I'm not sure I can convey in text my delighted glee at this concept - I was watching with Best Beloved, and we had to pause to let the wonder sink in - but I can try. It is - it is - it is a house made of bricks made of an entirely new element, Awesomium. (Chemical symbol: Wow.)

Sadly, I must convey a warning that may save you from the same dire fate I suffered: this song will latch onto your hindbrain, wrap its tentacles there, and never let go. Days after you view this vid, you will find yourself musically informing your pets that once you were the king of Spain.

If you are extremely unlucky, there will be other people present when you do this. My advice, although it didn't work out too well for me: feign a head injury.

Bonus: You Get a Cookie!

No anime music video set would be complete without a special add-on bonus cookie.

The Cookie for People Who Like Boobies. Or Who Have to Be Around People Who Like Boobies. Or Who Have Actually Seen Any Anime. Oh, Hell, Just Watch It. Fanservice Commercial, by MaachaQ. Multiple sources, but trust me - for this one, it doesn't matter what they are.

Nor does it matter that the visual quality is kind of low. Or that some of the effects aren't perfect. Because this video is fucking hysterical. (For the record: if you don't get what it's parodying, go here and start clicking. I recommend this one particularly. Also, SGA fans - someone needs to do something with Rodney McKay and this one.)

Yes, yes. I know from the recent poll that many of you are right now whimpering, “What, more vid recs? Where are the stories, damn it?” (I also learned that a surprising number of you apparently need only animals to make your lives complete - penguins, llamas, puppies, whatever. Have I mentioned recently how totally awesome you all are?) But a) I had this post in progress before the poll, so it’s not like I’m deliberately taunting you, and b) I have a good reason for doing a vids set today. (There will be stories soon, though. Really.)

See, this is the first day of vidvent, which is a really cool concept - giving vid feedback for the holidays, basically. (To learn more about it, go to this post. You can do as much or as little as you like; it’s a very low-key challenge.) I’m going to make my own attempt to do this, although, given how much I suck at coloring inside the lines, odds are good that I’ll make an honest effort, sure, but what will really happen is that I’ll send 24 pieces of vid feedback on the same day next March or something. Still, I’m going to try. (Shut up, Yoda.)

And it would be cool if some of you did, too. Doesn’t have to be for vids, either. You could do it for stories, too, because - well, I sometimes wonder if feedback doesn’t decline a bit around the holidays. I know that for me December is basically one long streak of Yuletide angst followed by a totally obscene, off-the-charts FF binge. I’m not sure what happens, precisely. I come out of my binge sometime in the middle of January, all covered in fragments of text and with only the vaguest memories of what I did. I just have to hope I didn’t, you know, get naked with someone’s Scrooge/Cratchit story or whatever. My point is that during December I am even worse than usual about leaving feedback. (I suspect that for much of the month I don’t actually meet all the statutory requirements for being alive, never mind actually communicating on any subject whatsoever.)

But this year, I plan to try. Wish me luck. My next conversation with you may be a slurred, “Augggh what did I do last month and oh my god is that a jingle bell piercing?” sometime in January, but the effort will be there.

And, to celebrate the first day of vidvent, here’s some vid recs!

The One with the Eye-Fuckingest Cowboys I Ever Did See. Big Country, by gwyn_r. Magnificent Seven, Chris/Vin.

You so don't need to know the fandom to love this vid, and I am the living proof, because I love it - it makes me deeply, deeply happy - and I will be the first to admit that I do not know from this fandom. I gather that it's about cowboys. I gather that there are horses. I gather that there are these two guys who ride on horses a lot and are so totally doing it. Also, one of them quite clearly has both Trauma and Issues. Needless to say, I gathered all that from this vid. There could be lions and tigers and naked slave boys in the parts of the canon that Gwyn didn't use, and I would never know it.

Except I almost did know it, because this vid damn near made me snuffle around looking for Magnificent 7 recs; it is a bundle of pimpery in a very pretty package. (Shush. I meant the gorgeous camera work and the, well, big country. Country, people. No actual packages, big or otherwise, are showcased during the course of this vid.) This is pretty amazing, given that it is, going by the vid, a Dreaded Hat Fandom. (See, I have a hard time telling people apart, and most TV shows are cast with people who look exactly the same. I know, I know, it's terribly speciesist of me to say "all you humans look alike," but you mostly do, at least when it comes to your faces. So I have to look for identifying details that I can easily pick out in close-up shots. Like hair. Hair is key. Unfortunately, in some fandoms, hair is covered by a hat, and I spiral into hopeless confusion. So until somebody kindly creates a TV show in which every single character is a different color, and I mean like green or purple, or wears his name on his shirt in large block letters, I basically have to wince away from Dreaded Hat Fandoms. But, wow, this one almost got me, hats and all.)

Because, oh, it is so gorgeous. And slashy. I have no idea which one is Chris and which one is Vin, so I think of them as Issues Boy (he has the trauma) and Country Boy (Gwyn, at any rate, links him to the earth and the sky a lot). (No one should start singing "thank god I'm a country boy" here. No, really not.) And I tell you this: judging by this vid, Issues Boy's issues are obviously going to be resolved through some time in rugged terrain with Country Boy, and I do mean with Country Boy.

Seriously. Watch this vid, and the fan fiction will write itself in your head. Gwyn titled her announcement post "cowboys in love," and I just can't put it any better than that.

The One That Asks, "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Gregory House? I Mean, Without Killing Him or Turning into Him?" Bukowski, by Shalott, aka astolat. House.

I just - let me just quote from the song here: "God, who'd wanna be such an asshole?" Now. If you know anything about House - and what I know could be written on two sides of a quarter, but I don't let that hold me back from the sweeping authoritative statements - you know that this is perhaps the most perfect song choice in existence. (And apparently we have tzikeh to thank for that, so thank you, tzikeh.)

And, wow. I think maybe House is a tough show to vid; I get the sense that its appeal comes a lot more from dialog and a lot less from pure visuals. (But, hey, I could be wrong. I'm basing this entirely on what I've gathered from vids.)

But this one? This totally works, probably because of the magical combination of perfect song choice, fabulous editing, and House's remarkable, um, clarity of character. (Seriously. Has the actor won an award yet? He should have. He has the best damn body language I have ever seen on a TV character.) For me, this vid pretty much sums up why, in another time and place, House would be one of my main fandoms: House is a character I'd love despite myself, a character I'd love even though he was anything but lovable.

And this vid captures that character perfectly.

Plus, come on. It's set to a song about Charles Bukowski. Can there be a better reason to download it?

Is It Hot in Here, or Is It Just This Vid? Boom Boom Ba, by charmax. Xena, Xena/Gabrielle.

I mentioned this a while back as a vid everyone must see, but I realized just today that I'd never written a proper recommendation for it. So here it is, the proper recommendation:

This is the sexiest vid you will ever see.

Oh, I have other stuff I could say - the use of color in this is jaw-dropping and the movement, my god, I could write a fucking essay on the way Charmax uses movement to create mood and the illusion of continuity and direct the viewer's eye and match the music. But that essay would only distract you from the central point, here, which is that this vid is sex. And dancing. And the dancing is also sex. So, basically, this vid is pure sex.

Download it, and you will not be sorry. I don't care if you haven't a clue who these people are. (Xena is the dark-haired one. I think she's maybe a god, and I also think she used to be bad but she isn't anymore. Gabrielle is the blonde. She's not a god. She writes scrolls. That's what I know, and it's more than enough to get this vid.) My only regret is that I missed the super-high-quality version Charmax had uploaded for a while, but trust me, the 50 MB one is just fine.

So, so much more than fine. Also, did I mention the sexiness?

The One I Watch When I Think a Day in My Life Has Been Hard. I Mean, It Could Always Be Worse: I Could Be Psychic. A Day in the Life, by Shalott, aka astolat, and Speranza, aka cesperanza. Dead Zone.

When I re-watched this so I could write up the summary for it, my first thought was: "Oh, I need to warn people this is canon-dependent." And then I remembered that when I first watched this vid, I hadn't seen any Dead Zone. And, sure, I missed some nuances, but I got the gist of it just fine. (The gist: it's hard to be Johnny Smith.)

This is another vid I'd commend for song choice, but doubly so, because - seriously, I wouldn't have imagined there was a way to make "A Day in the Life" (by the Beatles) into a coherent single-fandom vid. Switches in mood and - um, can I say narrative about a song? Well, I'm going to, and if it's wrong, someone tell me what I should have said instead - narrative are critical to vids, yes, but this song kind of takes that to extremes.

But then, Johnny Smith's life is not exactly without its switches and sharp 180s, you know? So, as it turns out, he fits with this song really damn well. (All together now: “Poor Johnny.”)

Actually, this vid was one of the things that finally convinced me to watch some Dead Zone; any single canon that contains all of the stuff in here had to be worth seeing, you know? (For the record: it is. At least, the parts I’ve seen are.) And the same goes for the vid; there’s a lot of stuff packed into it, and it is both dense and rich. And, okay, that made it sound kind of like the fruitcake of the vidding world, but here's the thing: you'll actually like this.

(No offense to fruitcake-lovers, of course; I honor and respect your culinary perversity.)

The One That Allows Masks to Take Their Rightful Place Beside Clowns, Mimes, and Puppets in the Pantheon of Massively Creepy Things. Meds, by Destiny, aka dcallingchaos. Nip/Tuck, gen. (The vid’s at the bottom of the page.)

I feel kind of like I should warn for disturbing content here, except, well, the disturbing content is the vid. And, see, I have no idea what the vid’s narrative is exactly; I think you’d have to know more about the fandom to be sure. What I know about Nip/Tuck is that, going by the YouTube snippets misspamela posts from time to time, there are two guys on this show, and they are the gayest two straight guys ever.

But the gay is not quite so evident in this vid, which is, as far as I can tell, about a serial - um, not killer, since he doesn’t kill. Cutter? A serial cutter of other people’s faces. Who is crazy, and maybe his crazy is kind of contagious. And, yes, that's creepy.

The vid makes it much, much creepier, though. It is quite effects-intensive, and those effects combine to create this kind of insane, jerky, god-what’s-even-true-anymore atmosphere, with lots of twitchiness and tension. And the thing is, what you see on-screen isn’t even that disturbing. (It’s not fluffy bunnies, either, mind you. Did I mention the serial cutter?) But the vid itself kind of magnifies the disturbingness, and what you get is - well, a vid that puts you slightly on edge. A bit more on edge if you re-watch it late late at night while you’re writing the rec for it, actually. Um. Yeah, I’m looking over my shoulder from time to time, here.

So it's an impressive use of effects, plus the equivalent of an entire suspense movie in three minutes. You want to see this vid.

(Side note: me being able to rec this at all is a total triumph of fannish networking over my own disorganization, by the way. I apparently originally got this vid on a rec from cupidsbow and then immediately forgot that. So when it came time to rec it, I didn’t know the fandom and couldn’t figure out who did it. I wandered over to vidfinders, where three separate people figured out what the fandom was and who the vidder was and basically did everything but tie my shoes for me. The moral of this story: lost vids can be found, folks. So if you’ve been avoiding sending feedback on something because you have no idea who to send feedback to, fandom is here to help.)

Okay, first I just need to say something to the people on my friends list who are weirdly obsessed with Bruce Springsteen and Thunder Road. I downloaded it a long time ago, about the 18th time one of you announced that it was the Best Song in the Whole History of Ever and that anyone who had never heard it could not technically claim to be alive. But I have a rigid system that determines what never-played music I am allowed (or required) to listen to, and for a long time that system did not turn up Thunder Road, and I was just as happy that way, frankly.

Except. Today it did. And I listened - okay, maybe a touch resentfully, because I do not like Bruce Springsteen, and, yes, I know several of you are right now wincing and hitting defriend. But I listened, okay? I'm prejudiced, but I'm not unreasonable.

And. Well. It's a pretty good song.

Okay. Maybe I found the volume inexplicably creeping up all on its own, and maybe I did an utterly humiliating at-my-desk version of Paul Gross arms at the end, and maybe I went back and replayed it in total defiance of the system. (Which, of course, immediately exacted its horrible revenge, about which the less said the better, except - some of y'all are sick, and especially the person who posted that song, and I admire you for it. But from a distance.) And maybe I felt inexplicably uplifted, which I really needed, because I've had a bad day (any day in which plumbers start drawing you helpful diagrams and sketches is a bad day in my book, and the sad part is, I've had enough of those days to know it for sure).

So I apologize to you Springsteenians and Thunder Roadiacs for the resentfulness with which I downloaded the song. And now I'm saying thank you.

And now we move on to the actual content of this post, which is: SG-1. See, katie_m is a wonderful person. She is very wonderful, and when I asked her what she wanted as tribute to her wonderfulness, she said: an all SG1 recs set. I have no idea why she wanted this; the odds I'm going to link to something she's never read are slimmer than the odds that Daniel's next death will be peaceful, at his home surrounded by his loving family, and permanent. But it's what Katie wanted, and it's what she's getting. (I'm just grateful she didn't ask me to finish the SG1 Fandoms I Have Loved.)

The thing is, though - almost all of my SG1 stories were on my old bookmark/database system, as opposed to del.icio.us. So this meant looking at the 3000 imported bookmarks I have at del.icio.us; I imported them when I had a fever, and when sanity returned I dedicated a small portion of my mind to pretending I had never done any such thing, because oh my god the chaos. But Katie is cool enough to be worth facing the horror of (some) of said chaos.

My actual intention was to wait until I had sorted through all my SG1 bookmarks. Last night, Best Beloved very kindly pointed out to me that that was an idea that reached new all-time best heights of stupid and crazy.

BB: Just post.
Me: But -
BB: How many stories do you have?
Me, angling the screen so that the list is not as readily visible: Um. It's not as many as it looks like, because paian -
BB: Oh my god. Just post.

So I'm just posting. Katie, I hope you enjoy it. Everyone else - SG-1 = fun. Read some today, won't you?

The Gateverse Pimp Vid to End All Pimp Vids. Cartoon Heroes, by mamoru22. Stargate: SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis.

Am I cheating by including this? Yup, totally - it's SG1 and SGA both. But, in all honesty, there's going to be another crossover in here, and it's weirder than this one by 18 orders of magnitude. So best to work into this slowly, I think.

And, okay. This vid hits one of my few vid squicks, and in fact until I saw this I thought it was a bulletproof squick. (And, by the way, I've never managed to enjoy a vid that hit it since, so I still think it's bulletproof. This is just, like, the vid equivalent of armor-piercing rounds.) It shows actors and characters at the same time. Worse, it shows actors in costume but palpably not their characters. Generally, this makes me want to die. In this case, it made me want to fill the entire screen with giant pink hearts and sparkles. (I refrained. I want to hear some thanks, y'all. It's just like with dogs - if you don't praise them for being good, eventually your floor is covered with giant pink hearts. Or something.)

It's just - it's the most joyous celebration of the Stargate universe ever, and I wanted to start with it for that reason.

Plus, watching it now I - I teared up. I admit it. At a certain line. I'm not going to tell you which line, on the grounds that you will openly mock me and I will deserve it. But, but, but - oh, Stargates. You make my heart sing.

The One That Proves That Sometimes, on SG1, You Can Fuck Them All. And Be Royally Fucked-up, Too. Still Life with Cliche, by Komos, aka paian. Stargate: SG-1, Daniel Jackson/Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill.

It's true. The SG universe really does make my heart sing. Just, sometimes it also makes me want to cry, and this story - this story so does that. It's gorgeous and perfect and it turns this cliche inside out. And also pretty much does the same thing to my heart. Aliens make them do it. Sort of. And the world is really never the same again.

This is a good story to start with, I think, because you can read this one if you don't know SG1 canon at all. It will probably work just as well for you; it's long enough and good enough that you can get everything you need from context. Except - if you do know SG1 canon, the last line of this story is a kick in the gut. From a Clydesdale. With razor-sharp shoes. And the first time I read this, I was bopping along, expecting the happy ending, expecting it all to work out, and then it connects up with canon and - boom. The glass shatters. I believe my original comment on this was something intelligent like, "OMG OW OW OW," and I stand by that assessment.

But did I mention gorgeous? Did I mention perfect? I think I did. Did I mention that it isn't all pain - I mean, if it was, I wouldn't have been able to read it, never mind rec it - and it's very definitely worth it? I did not, so I'm telling you now: read this. You won't be sorry. I'm addicted to happy endings, but I love SG1 fandom in part because it produces stories just like this.

And, by the way, you cannot go wrong with paian; it was absolute agony choosing just one of her stories for this set. (In the end, I copped out, and Best Beloved chose. For the record.)

The One That Cruelly Libels Pasta. Yet Another SG-1 Adventure, by minnow1212. Stargate: SG-1, gen.

I also love SG1 fandom because it can give me emotional whiplash like no other fandom out there. (Okay. It's more accurate to say that I can take the emotional whiplash better in this fandom. Any fandom I love can gut me or make me laugh until I'm dizzy. But only SG1 can make me love either one just as much.) So, from the sublime to the, well, ridiculous.

This is late canon; Cameron Mitchell is on the team, and Jack's watching from the other side. And, really, I think Jack is very grateful to have missed out on direct, hands-on experience of this one. Am I going to tell you what he's grateful to have missed? No. Not at all. But this story starts with General Landry saying, "So we haven’t seen anything like this before," and this late in the canon, that line guarantees that whatever follows has to be really spectacular.

(Seriously. This late in the canon, the canon writers themselves must be getting pretty desperate for novelty. I kind of imagine them sitting around a table, all:

Writer 1, reading from a brainstormed list: How about we make one of them a god?
Writer 2: Think we did that.
W1: Okay. No problem. Suggestion two: we make one of them a kid.
Writer 3: We definitely did that. Oh, come on, am I the only person who remembers season - um, whatever it was?

[There is a long, strained pause around the table.]

W1: Moving on. Suggestion three: we make one of their underlings a god.
W3: First season!
W1, getting snappish: Fine. How about we make one of them a child god of underlings?
W2: Why is there no alcohol in this room?
W3: Do I need to remind you what happened when there was?

[There is a collective shudder.]

W1: Those - those were bad times. God, I still have nightmares about the pointy hat.
W3: Exactly. So - what are we writing about? People?
W2: Maybe they could have a secret mission to, um, save the earth from, from, poisoned - spinach.
W1: Poisoned spinach?
W2: E. coli. You know. It's topical and suchlike.
W1, holding head in hands: Oh, god.
W3, suddenly inspired: That's it! We could have a god!
W1: We've been through the whole Deities and Demigods already. We're done. I'm not writing about SG-1 taking on the Yak Goddess of the Mukluk tribe, and she's what we've got left.

[There is a pause.]

W2: Well, what about if the Yak Goddess wore a studded leather bikini?
W1: Vala.
W2: Damn.

[There is a more hopeless pause.]

W3: You know, I think there's a random SG1 plot generator on the internet.
W1: *Googles*
W1: *clicks*
W1: *reads* "On a mission, SG-1 is involved in a brawl because of a lecherous sentient animal. A team member is imprisoned. Sam and/or Daniel race against time to solve the mystery of an evil painting of an outlaw prostitute bent on revenge. Teal'c and/or Cameron and/or Jack and/or Vala fight a wicked monk attempting to resurrect a goddess via a game in the conservatory. Back home, they must create an element from a fairy tale or fable because of a long-lost relative who has turned evil."
W2, in delighted tones: By god! That's our mid-season two-parter!)

But, just to bring this back to the story - no random SG1 plot generator story could be as delightful as Minnow's is. Read it. I can't promise it will make your heart sing, but it will make you laugh.

And possibly also make you want to limit your carbohydrate and protein intake for a bit.

The One That Will Make You Say, "Fanboys? The Stargate Writers? You're Joking." The Stargate Cantina, by brihana25. Stargate: SG-1. And, um, warning: spoilers. For Star Wars.

So. This is not a crossover, and it is therefore not cheating. It's an entirely SG1 vid designed to prove that SG1 is nothing like Star Wars, despite Certain People's allegations to the contrary. I think you will all agree that it does a fine job, although I have to warn you that the song it is set to is an earworm to end all earworms. So I'm not responsible if you chew your own ears off, okay?

And a note for people who, like me, downloaded their copy a while ago: this is a link to a remaster, and it is different - not just upgraded source, although there's that, too. Some clips are different, the intro is - um, different, and I think I need a new word for that now - and it's an .avi. So, you know, worth a download even if you've seen the .wmv version before.

Sadly, there's nothing more I can say about this; everything else will spoil it. Just - everyone who has ever seen SG1 or Star Wars needs to download this, and if you've seen both but you haven't seen this, I think you may be officially relegated to second-class fan status. Also be warned that viewing this with friends and loved ones can cause some strife; I first watched it with Best Beloved, and we spent the next twenty minutes debating casting choices, even though we have never seen the canon. Best viewed in private.

Also, learn from my sad experience and keep your mouth completely free of liquids at all times.

If Snow White Made You Suspicious of Trees, This One Will Make You Move to a Desert. Leaving Time, by janedavitt. SG-1, Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill. (Yes, I have pairing preferences. Also, this set is for katie_m, so it seemed wrong to include any of her stories in it, but she's written many of my favorite gen pieces. Blame her.)

I also love SG-1 fandom's tendency to write about really fascinating aliens, and alien cultures, and the team's interactions with said cultures. Of course, first contact can always be a bit dicey - sometimes it's all wacky beverages and naked hula dancing, and sometimes it's...not. This would be one of those "not" times, for the record. There is nakedness, yes, but it is not really the focus, per se. The focus is on a mission gone very wrong. It's also on Jack, and Daniel, and how sometimes they can be in total disagreement and (at least in my opinion) both be wrong. (As Amazon.com would say: "Jack and Daniel - Better Together." Or, as I would say: "Jack and Daniel: When they're at odds, god help the universe.")

This story also hits my "Ancients: skeevy? Or really skeevy?" buttons. I am convinced that those glowy fuckers are unworthy to be called squids, and I sort of want to punch them most of the time. This story makes me feel good about that. In short, I blame the Ancients for all of this. Well, that and the apparent motto of the SG universe. ("Oops.")

The One for Everyone Who Doesn't See the Daniel/Jack. And Everyone Who Does. Be Like Water, by butterfly. Stargate: SG-1, Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill.

For me, this is the vid equivalent of a Daniel/Jack pairing manifesto - by which I mean, well, that it explains why the pairing is so wonderful, and tempting, and right. And it also shows how they keep missing each other.

But even though this is a pairing manifesto, it's not about a pairing, not for me. For me, it's about Jack, about him trying to follow the rules, about him doing the right thing and losing the right thing in the process.

I have a lot of other stuff to say about this vid - about the clip choices, about the way the effects contribute to the mood, about the way the colors in this seem more beautiful to me than the colors in most other SG1 vids. But I think this vid best stands alone, without commentary. And even I know when to shut up sometimes.

The One That Makes Me Stamp My Foot Like a Four-Year-Old and Say, "I Want It That Way and So It Is That Way." Please, No One Convince Me Otherwise. No More Sad Songs, by destina. (The link takes you to the Triptych Vids front page. If you don't have a password, hit "New Visitor" for instructions on how to get one; an auto-responder will send it back. Login, click on Stargate, and scroll down.) Stargate: SG-1, Jack O'Neill. And Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill.

I recommended this vid alongside Be Like Water deliberately. Or, actually, more like out of necessity, because this is the other side of that coin. This is Jack - in my mind, Jack during his retirement (I can pretend. Boy, can I ever.) or, more canonically, Jack during the post-SG-1 era. He's not doing the right thing anymore; he's having the right thing. And I tend to watch this back-to-back with Be Like Water because, hey, did I mention my need for happy endings? For me, this is Jack's happy ending.

But then, I don't see - okay. I'm going to be blasphemous for a minute here. But, for me, SG-1 needed Jack more than Jack needed SG-1. He can still be who he is without being on the front lines, without being at the head of the team; there are things he needs, but in my head, that's not one of them. (Guess what is one of them? Yeah, yeah, and no points for getting it right. I am nothing if not Little Miss Predictable.) I don't see his transfer or retirement as a sad thing - or, okay, sad for us, most definitely, but not sad for him. I want this to be Jack's ending.

And so, in these parts, it is. Because, hey, this is my head, and I can do what I want.

The One That Makes Me Feel Sorry for Death. No, Really. Untitled, by daegaer. Stargate: SG-1 x Discworld. Gen.

Yes, this is the one I warned you about earlier. It's the crossover that could not work, am I right? Except, oh my god how it does. You do need to know Discworld, I think, and you need to know - well, basically, if you've made it this far in the post, you already know enough about SG1 to read this. (If by some tragic turn of events you don't know Discworld, go read Terry Pratchett's books - okay, some of them, and I recommend Guards, Guards and Pyramids - immediately. You can thank me later.)

This rec is a difficult situation for me, because the story is a short, short piece, and I don't want to get into that deal where I write more words about the story than are in the story. I know this will surprise you, but I do that sometimes. I can be wordy. You might not think it, but it's true.

But I do want to say that part of the reason this works so damn well for me is - well, the characterization. daegaer may actually be the secret lovechild of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman; that's how well she writes their characters and their voices. (No, I cannot adequately explain why their lovechild would be Irish. Possibly they wanted their child to be closely acquainted with Peig Sayers. It would be like them, in my opinion.) But, also, this story says some things that truly need to be said to a certain someone.

And it gives that someone a nickname that I will treasure forever.

Okay. I'm over the story's word count. Shutting up now.

The One in Which Someone Else Out-Talks Daniel for Once in His Life, and He Learns What Happens to People Who Don't Always Get the Last Word. Five Conversations Daniel Never Had, by teand. Stargate: SG-1, gen.

It wouldn't be an SG1 recs set without a couple references to the current incarnation of SG-1, including a certain, um, interesting character introduced in the last few seasons. (Let me put it this way. That outlaw prostitute bent on revenge I mentioned earlier? I think they already have her in the canon.) And while for some reason vids featuring Vala generally don't make me happy, stories featuring her really, really do.

Here, Vala says to Daniel what no one else would. (Most likely because any sane person familiar with Daniel's history would shudder, say, "There are some things no one was meant to know. Or say," and go out for a stiff drink instead. I mean, calling Daniel cheerful is just - perverse.) And word gets around at the speed of wormhole travel, because we all secretly suspect that the SGC is just one big high school where most of the students are heavily armed and they get transformed, mutated, killed, or comically dressed about every second week. (Oh, wait - Joss Whedon already wrote that one. But, well, SGC as Sunnydale High? That works for me.) And we are right.

And, of course, Daniel's co-workers (present and former) are there to stand by him during his hour of, um, probably wanting to strangle Vala, and they're always ready to lend a helping hand. (To support him. But also probably to help strangle Vala, in some cases.)

The One in Which Daniel Says, "Maybe I Want It to Be Difficult." And I Say, "Oh, Daniel, Truer Words." Encoded, by Tallulah Rasa. Stargate: SG-1, gen (basically).

And I finish with this AU future for SG-1, where things went off the rails around season 7. Tallulah is one of my favorite writers in SG1 - it is quite honestly worth getting into the fandom just to read her stuff - and I say that despite her history of breaking my heart about every third story.

This isn't one of the stories where she does that. She takes care of the heartbreak in the prologue, and then picks up about five years after that - never say that Tallulah doesn't know where to start - and puts it all back together again. A little bit different, sure, but different, as SG-1 has taught us over the years, can be good.

So, really, there's no heartbreak in this story. (There are some broken hands, sure, but with this team, that's a remarkably low butcher's bill.) What there is instead is - well, this, more than any other story, proves to me that SG-1 (version 1.0) is meant to be together. Doesn't matter if they burn out, fade away, or mutate; Daniel, Jack, Sam, and Teal'c are stuck together in ways that - okay, sure, they can come apart. But I truly believe that they end up together again.

And after you read this one, I think you will, too.

So. Thus endeth the SG1 set. It got out of hand, it got long, and it still doesn't cover even the teeniest fraction of what this fandom has to offer. Plus, hey, if you ever run out of fan fiction, I hear there's ten years of a TV show, too, and that might keep you entertained for a bit. So if you haven't tried SG1, maybe it's time to start.

And to SG1, the fandom, the canon, and the characters, I say: thanks. It's been a wild ride. And I'm not done with you yet.

Okay. Here's the deal. Y'all had plenty of vids to rec to me when I asked in the poll, and I was impressed and joyful. And now I want you to rec that same vid (or, hey, an entirely different one) to your friends list, who will likely also be joyful. It's important to me, and I plan to be difficult and obstreperous about it, but I'm also providing this handy guide. So there's a carrot and a stick, here. (Carrot: the handy guide and my eternal love. Stick: pouting.)

This is a basic recommendation: "I liked this. [link to vid announcement]"

That's all you do. You post to your LJ or other fandom-associated location. You say: "Hey! This vid is good!" And you provide a link.

But, okay, I understand only too well how hard it is to say nothing but that when you rec; I've never managed it with anything ever.

You can also say lots of other stuff - what you liked specifically, who it might appeal to, why you think it appealed to you. You can say what fandom it's in, what the song is, who the characters are, what the point of it is. The world is your oyster. You can type four words ("Jack hot. Panties wet.") or you can type until the post limit runs out ("And I think the crucial symbolism here is found within the overall color scheme, or, more specifically, the color scheme's progression from red to green, thus revealing the manner in which the relationship..."). Your choice. Whatever comes naturally to you, really. (If the latter comes naturally to you, I am so nicknaming you the Professor. Or maybe Doc.)

So. Are you convinced? Are you ready to rec? Then you can skip all the rest of this, though you may wish to check out the list of vidders who basically volunteered to be meat for recommending purposes (provided said meat was treated with basic fannish good manners).

If you have objections, though - in short, if you are not going to go right out and rec like a good little carrot-fixated bunny, thus averting what will be, I promise you, a terrible case of pouting on my part - read on. (And if you don't find your objection covered here, let me know. I am happy to add to this list pretty much eternally. I want everyone to rec at least one vid, people. I am very very committed to this concept. Also, I am stubborn. Best just to state your objections clearly so we can get them out of the way.)

"I don't know what to say."

I said this myself for quite a long time. Because vidders have special terminology, right? They have, like, all special words and secret chants and mystic prunes¹ and they will mock you ceaselessly and mercilessly if you use even one single intonation incorrectly, right?

Wrong, actually. There is indeed some technical jargon that vidders know. Much of it relates to specific programs. (Although, frankly, from what I've seen, that is often more obscene than mystical, all: "You evil fuckware, I do everything you want, everything, and now you won't fucking load? Give me vid or I kill with FIRE, you binary Satan that the damned call Premiere!") Some of it is from the film industry and can be learned from any film school. Or book. Or documentary.

But here's the thing: You don't need to know that stuff. (You'd better not need to, because I sure don’t.) Vidders will know what you're talking about no matter what term you use, and are actually more likely to get descriptive terms ("Camera goes swirly! Watcher goes YAY!") than technical ones, since mostly they didn't go film school, either.

More importantly, your readers, your actual recs users, will almost all be non-vidders. They don't need to know about the camera going swirly, no matter what you call it, and they probably don't know the right term for that anyway. For them, you focus on the watcher going YAY. That's what they need to know.

So don't bother with the detailed critique of vidding technique. (Unless you just want to, in which case it's a review, not a rec.) You wouldn't do it for fan fiction you recommended, either. Talk about how the vid made you feel or what it made you think. Mentioning the swirliness of the camera is totally optional.

"I don't watch a lot of vids."

Okay. But how about a vid? Have you seen a vid? Good. Did you like it? Excellent. (In all fairness, I have to warn you that the ratio of watched:liked will not continue at 1:1 forever. Appreciate it while you've got it.)

So where's the problem? You don't need to be an expert in all of vidding to rec vids; I am the living, breathing, recommending proof of that. I started recommending vids when I understood absolutely nothing about them, and I have progressed all the way to not knowing much, but knowing what I like. Do I let this stand in my way? I do not. Do I look like an idiot some of the time? Almost certainly. But you know what? I would anyway; it's my gift. And, you know, I've been called an idiot for recommending various stories, but no one has ever said anything nasty to me because I recommended a specific vid, or vids in general.

And, let me remind you - most of you had at least one vid to rec to me in the poll. (And may I just say, you people have excellent taste.) Why not rec it in your LJ, too?

"But if I haven't seen a lot of vids, how do I know I'll always like it?"

Maybe you won't always like the vid you like right now. So what? If you like it, odds are good that most of your friends list will, too - after all, they generally share some of your interests or tastes or they wouldn't be your friends list. So tell them about it. Later, if you decide it sucks, you can look back all ironically and marvel at your naiveté. You can even wear a beret. It'll be bags of fun.

"But why bother?"

Well, because it's a nice thing to do for your friends. It's hard to find recs of vids that match a specific interest; vid recommending is much more in its infancy than fan fiction recommending. So if you find a good vid, letting everyone else know it's good - that's nice.

And, hey, it's content. Are you telling me you don't occasionally veer into the toenails, GIPs, and pictures of cats type of LJing? Well, here's something to reward your readers for giving you advice about that toenail fungus. (Note: To the best of my knowledge, no one on my friends list actually has a toenail fungus. My friends list is 92% fungus-free. That's just a general remark, because even if someone did have a fungus, I would likely suppress that knowledge.)

And it's a nice thing to do for vidders, to let the world know they did something cool. (That goes double if you encourage your friends list to leave feedback for the vidder.)

And it's important. Because, okay, perhaps you have the fastest internet connection in the world and a million billion trillion gigabytes of hard drive space, but not everyone does; they can only download so many. How do people know which vids are worth downloading and which aren't? Recommendations. If you took the trouble to download it, you might as well let that effort pay off for your friends. And how do people who are new to watching vids know where to start? Yup, that's right: Recommendations.

"But I don't recommend stuff."

You don't have to be a formal recommender, with a recs journal and an obsessive organization scheme and a backlog of stuff to rec, in order to provide the occasional link to an excellent story or vid or piece of art. It's part of what we all do in fandom - we link our friends to stuff we liked.

(Yes, some of us do it more than others. We have a disease. It's very tragic and sad. But I don't think you can catch our Recommending Obsessively Disorder through casual recommending. You can't even catch it by being around those who have it, for which thank god, or we'd be forced to ring bells to warn people we were coming. It's just, you know, something that some of us were born with. We try not to let it get us down.)

"But vidders are scary."

I totally acknowledge this. It's the mystic prunes, I think. It makes them special and different and weird and smelly.

Also, I hear they sacrifice kittens.

No. Look. They are fans, just like everyone else in these parts. Some of them are probably jerks, although not any of the ones I've talked to. Many of them are very nice. Most of them are forgetful and overcommitted and totally convinced that certain people are So Doing It. They squee and flail and headdesk regularly. See? Just like the rest of us.

Some of them will even share their mystic prunes if you ask nicely.

"I don't know who did the vid I love, so I can't figure out where the vid announcement is."

Allow me to direct you to the brand-spanking-new community vidfinders, which is for "Have you seen this vid?" type posts. makesmewannadie recently asked for vid recs, and loads of people rec'd vids without credits, so they knew only the source and the song. Every one of those was rapidly identified by someone else reading the comments. Lost and unattributed vids can be found.

"But my friends list is very small and they've already seen everything I have. I mean, I've only seen the really well-known stuff, anyway."

They have not. Truly. I know it seems that way, but, honestly. There is a fangirl somewhere out there who has not seen Boom Boom Ba (by charmax) or Failed Experiments in Video Editing (by E.K.) or Heart of Funkness (by absolut3destiny) or Hello (by merryish) or Holding out for a Hero (by marycrawford) or Jolene (by z_rayne) or Loaded Gun (by gwyn_r) or Moving Right Along (by sdwolfpup) or Pretty When You Cry (by lierdumoa) or Take Me Out (by barkley and destina) or Whatever (by the extremely holy duo of sockkpuppett and sisabet). Odds are good that you can reach that poor fangirl simply by posting a link. Won't you help her out? (Picture a waif, here. With big ol' sad eyes. Staring pathetically at an empty computer screen. Or maybe a puppy staring pathetically at an empty food dish. Whatever gets the guilt flowing.)

Also, recs have a cumulative effect. Somebody might say, upon first seeing a rec, "Oh god no I am not watching an Apocalypse Now vid set to disco. I still have some sanity left to me, and by god, I treasure it." After two or three recs, that person might very well break down and see the Apocalypse Now vid set to disco (Heart of Funkness, linked above, and "Apocalypse Now set to disco" works as both warning and summary for it), and fandom will have brought the crazy (the good crazy) to one more soul.

It makes you feel all warm and happy inside, doesn't it? And you can be part of this glorious fannish cycle.

"But it's work!"

This was my objection until very recently. But now that we know we have Freedom to Rec, vid recommending is as simple as making a link and typing some words. Are you seriously telling me you weren't going to do that anyway at some point this month? Or this year, even? So make one of them a rec. One. Pretty please?

Otherwise, there could well be whining. Or pining, even. From me.

You won't like me when I'm pining, people.

( The List )

This is the counterpart to the poll I posted earlier. (It, uh, had to undergo some revisions after the results of that poll.) And this one is for anyone who has ever seen a vid.

Again, feel totally free to pimp. I'd love to get a range of responses on this one.

After this, there'll be a round of vid meta coming out, but then I swear we'll go back to fan fiction. I'm really starting to miss recommending the written word.

[Poll #800594]

So. I have, like, three almost-finished fan fiction recs posts, and - yeah. I just am not getting there on any of them, in part because, well.

See, last night BB pointed out to me that my posting has pretty much not happened lately, and I said, woefully, "I don't have braaaaaaain." (I mean it. If I tried to commit, for example, an act of FF commentary right now, I'd probably end up with a keyboard key stuck up my nose, all, "For reasons that we won't be exploring at this - or any other - juncture, the rest of this post will have to be written without the letter that comes between C an' E. Curse you, tricksy letter!")

So BB said, "Then why not anime vids?"

Wait, wait, that sounded wrong. Lord knows I love the anime vids! I in no way meant to imply that they are suitable solely for the brain-done-gone crowd. They contain deepness! It is possible to write deep thoughts about them! It's just, they're the easiest kind of post for me to write, because, okay, I can't write deep thoughts about them. It's basically an endless repetition of, "Vid shiny. Watch now." I don’t need my brain to type that.

I sense that I'm only getting myself in deeper trouble here. Let's just drop it while I can pretend I have some dignity left, shall we?

Okay, so. Last time I gave you all some basic AMV and anime tips. Here and now I will just reiterate that you’ll need membership at animemusicvideos.org to download these vids, and frankly I recommend you seize that membership. It’s free, they don’t seem to sell their members’ information to Satan’s Spam Service or whatever, and, hey, it’s got enough anime videos to choke a chibi. What more could you want?

Anime Vid Recommendations: The Main Section

Hold Me Now, by Tidirium Studio. Princess Tutu.

laylah recommended this vid to me after the last Festival o’ AMVs, and oh my god there are not thanks enough in this world. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve watched it since then, except I’m not embarrassed, because it is just that good. And, really, you don’t need to know the plot at all to understand this vid - there are spoilers, but you’d need to have seen the anime to get them. This vid is, in addition to gorgeous and perfectly cut and almost hypnotically wonderful, notable for two main things:

1. While watching it, and for the first time in our entire lives together, I figured out something visual before BB did. (BB has this weird vid-fu thing. Like, the first Smallville vid we ever watched, back when all either of us knew about the show was that it had something to do with Superman, had a clip of the bridge-car-smash-rescue-”Thank you, God, for sending me this gift of hotness” sequence in it, and BB said, “Oh! That’s how they met.” This was, as you all know, entirely correct, but I still maintain that it’s weird to figure that out based solely on a ten-second clip out of context.) What did I figure out? Well, okay. There’s a duck in this vid. I figured out that the duck is also the girl with the brownish hair, and I figured it out before the vid makes it obvious. You may be rolling your eyes right now, but for me this is a triumph roughly on par with learning to fly.
   
   
2. We became so entranced by this vid that BB is now watching the anime. And I’d give you a plot summary, but it would break us both. (You need brain for this plot. It’s like the complete works of the brothers Grimm with a lot of ballet and some quacking.) Just trust me - it’s got a plot, and it’s a damn fine plot, too. With characters. And ballet. And stuff. You’d probably like it a lot.

A God-awful Small Affair, by Absolute Destiny. Metropolis x Metropolis. (Yes, really. Both Metropoli in one vid.)

The last time I recommended AMVs, I basically demanded that you all go download Urban Ragnarok and watch it a million times and acknowledge it as a true and complete work of genius. (I hope you all did that, by the way. That is so totally going to be on the test to get into heaven.) I believe I also noted that I’ve never seen the anime Metropolis. I have, however, seen the 1926 movie version of Metropolis, and it was kind of like 1930s dentistry: loud, painful, scratchy, mystifying, and with a 40% chance of killing you dead. (Okay, I made that last part up. But, seriously, I had to watch Metropolis, and it had been excessively touted as this Great Work of Genius, and all I saw was a lot of fuzz and random people doing the Funky Chicken in slow motion. Plus the clock. Oh, god, the clock. I theorized at the time that its constant presence was a reminder that you, the viewer, were losing valuable eons of your life that you would never get back watching this unending torment. I still have a deeply unfortunate association between this movie and "'Repent, Harlequin!' Said the Ticktockman.")

I actually went and read the vid notes for this one before recommending it - Absolute Destiny has a very low likelihood of writing bad vid notes. (I define “bad vid notes” as ones that make you not want to watch the creator’s vids. Or, in extreme cases, ones that make you want to punch the creator in the mouth.) The ones for this vid were, as expected, quite good (Informative! On topic! Entirely wank-free!), but they revealed the horrifying fact that AD likes the 1926 version of Metropolis, and in fact thinks the target audience of this vid is people who haven’t seen the anime Metropolis but enjoyed what we might describe as the live-action Metropolis (for some questionable definitions of the word ‘live’). Possibly the version he saw was better than the 80th generation VHS videotape OMG that I watched. Possibly he is simply frothingly insane. Either way, though, I promise you that you don’t need to have liked, or indeed understood, Fritz Lang’s Metropolis to love this vid. And the creator himself says it’s better if you haven’t seen the anime. In short, you, media fangirl, are likely the perfect person to watch this vid. And it’s really, really good, what is more.

(The clock. It haunts me. As does the goddamned Funky Chicken.)

Sex and Caramel, by Kusoyaro Productions. Noir, Mireille/Kirika.

So. This is a gorgeously sexy femslash (known in anime circles as ‘yuri’) vid. And that alone is reason enough to watch it, and love it, and make it your best fucking friend forever. But wait! There’s more!

Like, okay. This song? In live action, I would consider it nigh unviddable. Really slow songs that are almost all vocals tend to crash and burn in live-action vids. (There are notable exceptions, of course, including a few vidders who seem to be at their best with these kinds of songs. But what you usually get is looooong clips, often way slowed down, where almost nothing happens, and eventually you feel like - look, I’m not making another Fritz Lang’s Metropolis comment here, so just know that in my opinion songs like this can lead to prepare-to-grow-old vids in live action.) And Kusoyaro does, actually, rely heavily on clips without a lot of action in them (in itself another feat, as this particular anime series could be justifiably be described as “action-packed,” and in fact has some scenes that have weird resonance with the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith). But the vid is not boring. Far from. And that’s because the movement, the action, occurs almost entirely outside the clips, if you see what I mean. (If you don’t see what I mean, you probably will after you see the vid.)

Also. See. In AMVs, you don’t get so much of the “We will now revel in glorious subtext” vids, where vidders do - okay. You know that thing where you cut pieces out of folded paper and it reveals the paper’s inner snowflake? Well, vidders in our part of fandom are remarkably adept at cutting pieces out of source to reveal the inner massive, massive gayness. (Except for those sources that are basically an embarrassment of gay riches. Yes, The Sentinel, I am looking at you.) It's fairly rare to see that in an AMV, though. But this one? Totally does that. It reveals the girl-loving core of the source so well that it completely changes how you view the actual anime. (It really isn’t the incredibly true adventures of two assassins in love. No matter how much my inner shipper wants it to be.)

Mitternacht, by Pwolf. Hellsing, Vampire Hunter D, and Blood: The Last Vampire.

Important note: the version I’ve linked above is the best one. But you will not be able to play it unless you have the latest edition of the VLC player. If you don’t, you should download this Mitternacht instead. This might also be the best course of action if your computer is old, cranky, or prone to fits. (More fits than just the usual “WHY do you make me run Windows? WHY GOD WHY? Taste the blue screen of my rage!” type tantrums, I mean.)

This one was recommended to me by daegaer after my last bout of AMVs, and she was entirely right. Of course, when BB and I watched it, we had never even heard of Blood: The Last Vampire (and, having heard of it now, I can’t say as I have any strenuous desire to watch it). So we had to work out for ourselves that this is a multi-anime vampires-who-hunt-vampires vid. Or, okay, honesty time: BB sussed it out somewhere during the opening sequence. I played Devil’s Advocate until the situation became hopeless:

BB: They’re obviously vampires.
Me: No, wait. I think that one is crazy.
BB: I’m pretty sure you can be both.

[pause]

BB: Also, all three of them just popped game face.
Me, losing with as much dignity as ever: I don’t think you’re supposed to call it game face unless it’s Jossverse.

[further pause]

Me, meditatively: You know, it’d be funny to see Angel and Spike up against these guys.
BB: And by "funny," you mean "the end of the world as we know it."
Me: Not necessarily. They could have reasoned discussions! “Guys, guys, guys. We’re all on the same side here.” “You are definitely not on my side. We would not have you.” “Oh, I’m hurt.” “You will be.” “Bloody hell. Can we just skip the oh-so-witty banter and go straight to the fighting?”

(You get eight points if you can identify who said what in that reasoned discussion, by the way.)

Through Time, Through Space, by Koopiskeva/Random Variable Productions. Voices of a Distant Star.

Last time, my brain entered a mode that might best be described as “terminal Koopiskeva vacillation”; I couldn’t choose between Euphoria (Everyone recommends it! With very good reason! It is extremely shiny!) and Waking Hour, which I happen to like better than Euphoria. Euphoria shows off anime vidding better than Waking Hour; Waking Hour is, in my opinion, far more appealing to and accessible to media fans.

Eventually, I used the time-tested strategy of simply not picking either, which was perhaps slightly less than optimal. This time, I’m proud to say, I managed to choose.

Yeah, okay, so technically I chose one that wasn’t on the menu last time, but I don’t care. This is a fabulous vid. It’s the first vid I watched by Koopiskeva, so I kind of imprinted on it, and it’s the one I come back to watch again and again. Also, it’s the most plot-driven of the three, always a bonus when selecting AMVs for media fans. (Okay, no, not exactly. Let’s say instead that I think the plot is the most obvious on the first pass through; plot-wise, it’s basically on par with Waking Hour.) It also draws from an absolutely lovely source - I mean, Waking Hour does, too, but - look. I made my choice, and I’m damn well staying with it. So there.

Although, for the record, you would not in any way be wasting your bandwidth if you elected to download all three.

One thing I promise you: after you’re done watching the vid, you’ll never look at cell phones the same way. I mean, this vid manages to make cell phones and text messaging deeply romantic and touching and sweet, and the way they both hold onto their phones is like, meaning of life stuff, and also the OMG dramatic! moments when the cell phones light up, and - well. This vid (and its source) has mecha and spacecraft and stuff going boom and a freaking war with aliens, but the cell phones are really the focus. And after you see this vid, you will totally understand why that is as it should be. (Hint: the cell phones are the whole relationship for the second half of the source. And “Voices” is a relationship and character driven anime.)

Anime Vid Recommendations Bonus Section: You Get Cookies!

This section is dedicated to vids that I also want you to drop everything and watch, but only for certain definitions of “you.”

The Cookie for People Who Like NC-17 Slash, Slave Stories, and/or Bondage. Intrusion, by Staces. Ai no Kusabi.

Note: this is a wee bit more explicit than your average vid, but less explicit than your average Queer as Folk vid. If you're, like, twelve or whatever, you probably shouldn't download it. (You also probably shouldn't read this LJ. Go frolic outdoors, hypothetical 12-year-old reader! You can develop RSI when you're older.)

So, first, here’s what I know about Ai no Kusabi, which should help you decide if this is the right vid for you. It is a story about this guy (who is blond, which means he’s super high caste on his planet), who rescues this other guy (who has dark hair, which means he’s basically subhuman) from being killed, even though he has no reason to. Dark-haired guy, as a thanks for the rescue type deal, offers to be blond guy’s slave (“pet,” to be precise, and if that word has no special connotations for you, you probably haven’t been in the same fandoms as I have these past few years). There is sexin’. And bondage. And also, of course, Forbidden Love That Very Well Might Change the World. That’s the canon (to the best of my knowledge - I haven’t seen it, though if anyone has time to watch it and provide a better summary, I can get it for you). The vid is - the canon, basically, except shorter and set to Alanis Morissette.

Unfortunately, the source quality is bad. Also, the source itself has an undefinable but, to me, very noticeable ‘80s look to it (and, no, it wasn’t made anywhere near the ‘80s, so I’m as mystified as you are) that makes me kind of giggle, which is why I haven’t watched it. (Plus, I have - this is so pathetic, but do not mock my shame - a hard time following visual sex scenes, especially ones as vague as a lot of these. They’re almost as confusing to me as fight scenes. Yes, this makes 95% of Hollywood’s output a giant sea of confusion for me, but I choose to view it as a bonus. I mean, it takes a lot longer for fighting and sex scenes to get old for me, given that I have to watch them several times - and, often, have a running narration - to figure out what the hell is going on. But this is why I prefer my sex and my violence, not to mention just about everything else, in written form: these scenes lose a lot of their impact when you have someone whispering in your ear, “Okay, that’s the one guy. Remember him? The star of the show? Right. And that’s - do you see the mostly naked girl? The one from earlier, with the briefcase? Okay, she’s over on the couch. Do you see her now? Good. They’re going to have sex.” “What do you mean, how do I know they’re going to have sex? Everyone knows.” “Well, when I said ‘everyone,’ I didn’t mean you.”)

The Cookie for People Who Have a Sense of Humor Like Mine. (And How I Pity You. You Totally Deserve a Cookie.) A Total Waste of 6 Minutes 35 Seconds, by Xstylus/Project Thunderstroke. Serial Experiment Lain, although you really shouldn’t expect this to have anything in common with the actual anime.

Okay. First things first, and this is very important. Do not read the video notes for this one until you’ve watched it. It’s a humor video, and I think knowing what it’s about beforehand would suck all the humor right out of it.

So how do I intend to write a vid summary for it? I totally don’t. Instead, I will tell you what happened to me when I watched it.

Basically, I spent the first minute being confused, the second minute being very doubtful, the third minute being mildly amused, and then the amusement kind of built until I collapsed laughing on my keyboard. Seriously. It played out by itself the first time, with me not even seeing the last bit; I was busy holding my stomach and facing imminent death from acute hypoxia.

But I have no idea if you, specifically, will find it funny. (Best Beloved did, for what it’s worth.) I’m just saying - this nailed me so hard in the primitive thing I use in place of a sense of humor that I almost died. I suspect that this is one of those either you get it or you hate type humor pieces, and I can’t promise you won’t hate it. If you do, you’re probably right to do so. It’s definitely not the best vid ever made. But it has a rustic native charm. And some of the funniest footage ever.

Once you’re done with the vid, go back and read the vid notes. (Not beforehand! I mean it! There’s nothing in here that could be triggering or upsetting for anyone - the worst you’ll face is boredom, but the boredom is about three thousand times more likely if you read the vid notes first - so you don’t need any warnings. Nor do you want them. Trust me on this.) Even if you hated it, still read them; you will find much in there to make you feel better. (And if you loved it, it will prove to you that the joke is exactly what you thought it was.)

The Cookie for People Who Have Watched Fullmetal Alchemist. Tsumibito no Kashou, by Tyler/Fantasy Movies. Fullmetal Alchemist.

In the main vid recs section, I continued to limit myself to vids that work just as well - perhaps better - if you have never seen the source, mostly because I suspect the readers of this LJ generally will not have seen it. (If I’m wrong about that, hey, let me know.) This one is merely shiny if you haven’t seen some of the source, but if you have - well. BB has seen FMA, I haven’t, and our reactions to it were 180 degrees off the first time through. After I realized (read: was told) what was going on, though, my reaction matched BB’s, and that reaction was: Wow. Also, ow. Also, OMG Ed NOOOOOOOO!

I guess I could try to explain what’s going on here, but - no. Just, if you’ve seen the series, you’ll get basically immediately that this is the perfect song for Ed. (The song, for the record, is not in Japanese, even though the title of the vid itself is; the song is half French, half English. And it’s by Placebo. I have no idea what the title of the vid means - anyone out there know Japanese well enough to clear that up?)

And, hey, if you haven’t seen FMA? You could download this vid anyway, for the sheer shiny of it. It’s gorgeously edited, as all of Tyler’s vids are (or all the ones I’ve seen, anyway), and well worth a watch even if you don’t get the message. But if you do - it’s a gorgeous gut-punch, basically, and it is stunningly wonderful.

(Note: this was going to be a contribution to an UnCon vidshow, but it got out of hand. Badly out of hand. So I figured I'd post it here and spare all the virtual con-goers a lot of scrolling.)

Anime vids are wonderful. And they are totally worth watching even if you don't watch anime.

For one thing, they're very, very pretty. I tend to think of them as the way live-action vids will look in a few years. (Anime is easier to work with, and especially to do effects on, than live-action source. I think. I mean, Jesus, don't take my word for it, since all forms of vidding look equally - i.e., infinitely - difficult to me. If you want actual facts, though, I'm guessing you'll be reading another LJ, or at any rate another post. This post will not be fact-intensive.)

For another, they are surprisingly accessible to the non-anime watcher. When we started watching anime vids, Best Beloved (my unindicted co-conspirator in all vid watching; I need a co-conspirator because I am, basically, very very slow on the uptake) and I had not seen any anime at all. And, sure, we had some conversations like:

Me: Um. How many characters are there in this vid?

BB: Four? There's, let's see. Purple hair guy, blue hair guy, green hair guy, and blond hair guy. Four.

Me: Those are guys?

BB: Only their doctors know for sure.

[There is a pause.]

BB: Well, and the character that's feeling the other character up right now probably knows, too. Or maybe he just isn't very picky.

[There is another pause as we watch two people with fabulous hair make out while flying through air filled with cherry blossoms.]

Me: My god, this is like watching a documentary about salt water fish. They're very pretty and very colorful and completely mystifying.

But we also watched a lot of vids in stunned, awed silence. In many cases, we understood what was going on perfectly - making out while flying through air filled with cherry blossoms is pretty much a universal experience, after all. Sometimes, we were just hypnotized by the pretty. And eventually we acquired a basic understand of anime themes and tropes:

[We watch Girl A shoot Girl B.]

Me: So now they're gonna kiss, right?

[We watch Girl A kiss Girl B.]

BB: I guess some things really are universal.

And:

Me: Hey, look! It's a Gunfighter Who Walks Alone!

BB, nodding appreciatively: He walks a lonely road. It's only him and he walks alone.

Me: ...Except for that girl right there in the sailor outfit.

BB: And the three talking yellow circles with beaks and triangle feet.

In short, we began to trust anime vidders and love anime vids. (Not to mention the actual anime itself, which turns out to be a) good and b) fun. Or so Best Beloved tells me; since the last disc of Trigun, I've stuck to just the vids.)

And if I can understand anime vids, anyone can. Even the salt water fish would have decent odds. So. Give me a chance to persuade you, okay?

First - and LJ-cut for those of you who already know it - I present two guides for any beginners out there.

( Things It Would've Been Really Useful to Know Before I Started Watching Anime Vids )

( A Nearly Useless Guide to AMV.org )

So. Great vids. Accessible to all. Do you need another reason? Then try this: anime has a huge preponderance of ninjas, pirates, cowboys, gunslingers, assassins, robots, gay boys, lesbian girls, purple hair, and floating chicken-computer librarians. It has genderfuck, pandafication, angst, hurt/comfort, and more feathers than you could find in an entire archive of wingfic. Basically, anime is like all the glorious parts of fan fiction made canon. And anime vids pack these same things into four minutes. Anime vids: the primary reason you will never be bored again.

Bachelorette, by Kusoyaro. Revolutionary Girl Utena: the Adolescence of Utena. (More information about this movie. Thanks, strangerian!)

The source for this has canon genderfuck femslash (I told you it was like fan fiction in motion!) and, well, who doesn't love canon genderfuck femslash? Not me, people; when I'm in meetings where I have to introduce myself and list three things I love, "canon genderfuck femslash" always makes the list, generally preceded by "canon genderfuck boyslash" and "copyright infringement for fun, not profit." I am so professional it hurts.

But I want you to see this one because of the movement. It's - this is one of the first anime vids I ever watched that completely hypnotized me; I had to watch it three times just to get to the point where I start with most vids. (Which is, basically, asking who and what and where and why and also what is up with all the rose petals?) It's just...it's really, really gorgeous, without having that kind of "I'm going to use another effect here because it's anime so I can nyah nyah nyah" feel that anime vids sometimes get. Am I allowed to say a vid is lyrical? Probably not. So, okay - this is, in effect, an instrumental type vid; yes, there are lyrics, but the vid's focus is matching music and images, not words and images or plot and images. I'm not sure exactly why the creator went that direction, but oh how it works, and it requires absolutely no background knowledge at all.

Urban Ragnarok, by jbone. Metropolis.

I'm not sure why it is, but Metropolis (the anime) has produced so many excellent vids it should have been a struggle to pick one. But it wasn't, because this vid wins at everything: effects, music, cutting, tone, beat, depth, everything. I mean, the mood switches alone are just...and also, OMG, the content, and...see? I'm incoherent. This vid will do that to you. You need to see this, and I don't care if you've never heard of either Metropolis.

(Although if you have, and it's the live-action Metropolis - okay. Everyone who has a degree in film, please move on to the next vid summary right now. The rest of you - if you stared in total bewilderment at Fritz Lang's Metropolis and finally agreed that it was a brilliant classic just to get the person who showed it to you to shut up before your brains ran out your nose, this vid will hold a special extra pleasure for you. There are no very fuzzy scenes of random jerky people doing something that, yes, might be an allegory for the human condition in a technological society, but also might very well be an early version of the Frug. And the amazing visuals? Are actually there. If you watched Metropolis like I watched Metropolis - at the behest of a person with an unexpected sadistic streak, basically - then this vid will heal your soul.)

Here Comes the Sun, by Daniel Chang. Multifandom.

This is a gorgeous tribute to Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli (makers of Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service, etc.). There's no special reason you need to have seen any of the sources to see this vid, although if you ever tell a real anime fan you've never seen a Ghibli movie you will bring pain into the universe. Possibly your own pain. (And also, roughly three times out of five, you'll get an extensive lecture about the evils of Disney. Sometimes with PowerPoint presentations. And it's not that the anime fan will be wrong, it's just that after the first hour you will be searching desperately for the emergency eject button. Myself, I'd just lie.)

But. My point is, if you have seen some Ghibli - and I'd recommend at least Spirited Away - you'll know that they aren't all sunshine and roses (more of a flying and fantasy kind of thing, really), but this vid is pretty much pure sunshine. (Plus a lot of flying. It is Ghibli, after all.) It's sweet, sentimental, and gentle, and I defy anyone to get all the way through it without experiencing a certain warming of the heart. (Warning: this may be an unsettling experience for my fellow I'm-not-a-cynic-I'm-a-realists.) What I find most fascinating about this vid, though, is how using the works of a single studio with a consistent style provides visual and thematic continuity that you just don't get in most multifandom vids; these sources just go together in a way that becomes very, very clear when you see them next to each other.

Right Now Someone Is Reading This Title, by Doki Doki Productions. Multifandom.

This is a perfect bridge between media fandom and anime fandom. Because, okay, it's a series of in-jokes set against clips from about 50 sources, and it should be the least accessible thing in the world. But you don't need to know the sources, because 75% of the jokes are actually about fandom and fans. I get most of them even though I know nothing about anime or the anime fan world. Plus, it's one of the talkiest vids I've ever seen - in terms of words on the screen, I mean - that worked, and it works so well. That alone is downright amazing, because generally if there's more than a few words on the screen I find myself wondering why the vidder didn't just go ahead and write fan fiction. There are some stunningly brilliant exceptions to that, though, and this is one of them.

(Side note the first: watch for the appearance of the Disney/Ghibli - and I know what you're thinking, but trust me: no one should write that pairing - thing. You will feel cool! At least, you will if you are a dork like me.) (Side note the second: Best Beloved swears this song had an actual music video very much like this one. Can anyone point me to a download of it? Or something? Because there are wistful remarks every time I play this, and, seriously, there's only so much wistfulness a girl can stand.)

Die Another Day, by VicBond007. Noir.

I wanted to be sure to include at least one special effects intensive vid, and - well, wait. All of these are special effects intensive, most of them actually much more than this one, but this one has what I believe will be the most noticeable effects to a new watcher. It's fast, it's action-packed, and it's easy to follow even if you have no idea what Noir is about. (Assassins! Amnesiacs! I'm telling you, anime fans don't have to smoke crack, because the canon creators do it for them.) And you can really appreciate the sheer shininess of the tools that anime vidders have at their disposal.

Plus, okay. See - I have a weakness for pairings in which one person tries to kill the other but they love each other anyway. I'm sorry. I have no idea what twisted part of my psyche believes that true love means having to wear Kevlar. But I do know that this vid hits that kink in spades; sure, mostly they're fighting on the same side, but that opening scene where they're pointing guns at each other? My reaction to this is: OMG SQUEEEEEEEE THEY ARE SO IN LOVE! In other words, my inner fangirl totally emerges and starts drawing little hearts on the screen. (Those of you who have seen Trigun will now understand why I liked that series so much. Up until the last disc. Damn you, last disc!)

Failed Experiments in Video Editing, by Elizabeth Kirkindall/Big Big Truck Productions. Cowboy Bebop and original drawings.

You really don't need to know the source to get this vid, since it is in fact not about Cowboy Bebop, but I am providing a link so that those of you with any soul at all can add it to your Netflix queues. This series has Ein in it. Ein, possibly my favorite character in all the world. (And, oh my god, I just realized: there totally needs to be a Cowboy Bebop x due South story in which Ein and Diefenbaker, another of my favorite characters in all the world, meet. This is Meant to Be, people.)

So. This is what meta looks like in an anime vid; it's a vid about vidding. I'm sure this is even more funny if you have ever actually made a vid of any kind, but really you only have to have seen a couple, live action or anime, to appreciate, for example, the "Down in the River to Pray" sequence. This vid makes me happy when skies are gray. Or, more specifically, when I have watched too many vids in which the works of Evanescence are used to explore the theme that John really, really loves Rodney. (Or that Buffy really loves Angel, or that Diefenbaker really loves doughnuts. Whatever. Because that's the beauty of the Classic Evanescence Rite of Passage Vid: no matter what source you choose, you get a vid consistent in quality and theme with all other CERPVs.) And I'm actually trying to avoid saying anything more about the vid, for fear of spoiling it, so I think I'll go with the time-tested method of doing that and shut up. (Yes. You are allowed one relieved sigh. But only one.)

First, a tiny request for help. See, I am currently typing this while seated on a chair that - okay, no one is allowed to laugh - has a tendency to collapse in a way that dumps me on my butt on a hardwood floor. Like, this has happened more than once. This week. Also, it makes these very ominous noises when you sit in it, or move it, or look at it too closely. And parts keep coming off of it, and some of them are bound to be important.

So - anyone out there have recommendations for a good computer chair? Something comfy and, you know, ergonomically correct. That wouldn't just fall over from time to time. Ideally, something with rolly feet, although I don't insist on it. And, also - is there a decent online source for these things, or am I going to have to venture into the real world to buy one? Help me, people. I am on tenterhooks, here, and not because I'm excited, but because I'm very likely to fall over backwards at any moment. Makes it hard to recommend things, although I persevere nobly. (It is so noble. The recommender's calling cannot be defeated by mere chairs!)

Okay. Now. Vids.

This is the last damn post in the giant series of vid recommendations. I have recommended at least one vid for every fandom (except books and ones I haven't seen vids for) that topped 150 votes on the poll. I feel accomplished. If you managed to wade through these posts, you should, too.

And you know, I'm really looking forward to recommending some FF, for a change. I think the vids are getting to me. I've started to have vid fantasies for every song I hear. Elvis says, "a little less conversation, a little more action, please," and I immediately think of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Mike Doughty says, "It's your misfortune that sweetens my song," and I think about Brokeback Mountain, a movie I haven't even seen. (But I've read the story! And you could so vid the story to that song! If, you know, it was possible to vid something that had no visual source.) Nick Cave talks about a man with a red right hand, and I think of Yami no Matsuei, and the thing is, I don't even think you could vid Red Right Hand. I know damn well that I can't vid anything. And yet it's become the 24-hour fandom vid show in my brain. Clearly, I need to stop thinking about this for a while. Also maybe lie in a darkened room for a bit.

Will I be recommending more vids? Probably. It gives meaning to my compulsive vid-watching habits, for one thing. Plus, I'm starting to have the same reaction to really good vids that I do to really good fan fiction: I feel this overwhelming urge to share, to get everyone on earth to enjoy this. I'm like an Amway saleswoman, here, except that I still have some part of my soul.

So. On to the vids. No obligation to download! Try before you, um, don't buy!

Previous parts of this series: one, two, and three.

X-Files

I've never seen X-Files. I never will. I barely know who the main characters are (although I'm learning!), and all I knew about the show itself before this month is that it was long, complicated, and very popular. But I developed an inexplicable fascination with it while I was doing this project. I can pretty much trace it to the comments on my third post in this series, wherein runpunkrun and a number of what I can only assume are members of her evil cohort revealed to me that Scully is really cool and even shoots Mulder once. Punk is a bad, bad woman, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. So I've pretty much gone from "X-Files? Um. It was a TV show, right?" to actually persuading Best Beloved to watch it in the space of about two weeks. (And wow has this combined badly with my current 24-hour vid show deal; I keep saying things like, "Why can't I find a Scully vid to I Am a Scientist?" In other words, I am mentally vidding for a canon I have never seen and know nothing about. Fandom is a cruel mistress, people, and you only learn this after she's driven you crazy.)

The Vid That Suggests to Me That the Smart X-Files Character's Motto Is "Fear Everyone." Harder to Breathe, by Xandra Zander, aka xandra_ptv.

Availability: All the time, and that link will take you straight to the vid page.

So. I've seen this song used in vids in several fandoms; I almost picked one of those other ones to recommend in this Vid Recommending Extravaganza (perhaps I should call it the Rec-o-rama?). But when X-Files crossed the 150 mark (you people obviously have dark, dark things hidden in your pasts), I knew I'd have to pick this one. Now, here's the part that is either cool or pathetic (feel free to make the call). Remember, I don't know anything about this show. So I'm watching a vid about a character I'd never even heard of prior to seeing it. And Alex Krycek does not seem like my kind of character. In this vid, he seems, um, and I don't want to offend anyone who loves him, but - he seems scary as fuck. And yet - this vid made me sympathetic towards him anyway, and I don't know why. It's just, well, okay, obviously he's an evil little fucker, and he kills and betrays and, um, has really mutant eyes on occasion, but...I feel for him. I almost, um. Like him. I know this is probably very wrong, so, - am I allowed to blame the vidder? She used her talent to force me to like him! I was the innocent victim of nefarious vidding! It's not my fault! Except it probably really is - some kind of moral failing or something. But this vid definitely had something to do with it. It's well-edited and it tells a story. (And, based on that story, I have to say that Krycek's motto should probably be: "It's always darkest just before something really terrible happens. But that's fine. I like it dark.")

The One That Suggests That the Smart X-Files Character Will at All Times Keep His Eyes Peeled for an Iguana with a Fan Taped to His Back, Filmed in Extreme Close-up. Science Fiction Double Feature, by stellar_dust.

Availability: All the time. Scroll down until you see it.

Okay. It is time to introduce a theme that will be recurring throughout this post: I am just - I am totally the bitch of anything that can make me laugh. If it's funny - to me, I mean, and I think it should be made clear up front that my sense of humor has been described as everything from "sadly warped" to "completely absent" - I will serve it faithfully and also possibly perform indecent acts at its request. And, see, this makes me laugh. And it did this in a fandom where I always go into vids braced and wary, because I never really know if it will be about a sweet, repressed romance or a vicious eyeball-sucking squid. And then it - well, it has this ending. See, normally I'm kind of opposed to including sound clips from the source in the vid, but here the vidder uses it as an end-of-vid cookie kind of thing, and so that's all right. And this cookie - okay. It made me love Scully, because what she says? I said almost precisely that, just before she did, the first time I saw this vid. (Mulder clearly has issues, people. That's all I'm saying. Also, the boy needs to get out more, although, given what I've seen in the vids, I don't blame him for staying inside.) Um. And reading this over, I realize that I have once again managed to write a summary that doesn't summarize anything - I consider it a personal specialty at this point, actually - so, just to provide some actual information: this vid is The X-Files as a '50s SF B-movie. Complete with giant, um, unpleasant creatures (look away, is my advice on that one) and assorted oozes and dubious special effects and very interesting headwear. What could be better than that?

The One That Suggests That If You Can't Believe the Impossible, You Probably Shouldn't Be a Character on the X-Files. Not Only Human, by Killa, aka killabeez, and Laura Shapiro, aka laurashapiro.

Availability: All the time. You will need to request a password if you download it through Laura's site; you can also find it under "Other Fandoms" at Killa's site, which doesn't require a password. (I linked to the LJ entry because it's the easiest place to leave feedback. Hint.)

You know how you can love something so intensely that you can't really explain why? Like, it's obvious to me that everyone should love lettuce and reading and my dogs, and when people don't, I don't argue. I just kind of stare at them, wondering how I can have a planet in common with this person who is so different from me, because loving those things is pretty much like breathing oxygen in my mind. It's how things are. I love this vid that way. Which means I don't have much to say about it, because it's the kind of love I can't analyze. But I do watch the vid regularly, and I think everyone else should, too. (And if you don't like it, feel free to tell me. I won't dislike you, but I will ask you for details about your homeworld and your species. Just out of curiosity, really.) Given my policy of silent adoration of this, it's kind of hard to write a summary for it. I can say (See? I can always find something to say. It's my secret power!) that this is about Scully, although when I first saw it I thought her name was Molly. (Um. The X-Files turns out to be enough a part of popular culture that even the utterly clueless will know a few syllables of it. Given that this is me, though, and I bring cluelessness to the level of an art form, it's really no surprise I got those syllables wrong.) And there are two ways I can see the vid. Either it's about being a skeptic in the world where everything is true, or it's about asking the questions that don't have answers. Either way, it's about belief and knowledge, and the places in our lives where faith and proof intersect. And I - I have a great and inarticulate love for it. And if you breathe oxygen and are carbon-based, I think you will, too.

Stargate: SG-1

The Vid That Makes Me Think the Writers of SG-1 Will Never Need a Punching Bag as Long as They Have Daniel. Another Train, by barkley.

Availability: This will take you to the entry page, where you'll need to enter user name hiro and password protagonist in order to get to the vid listing. (I have Barkley's permission to give the password here, so please no letters informing me this is rude, wrong, or illegal. Seriously. I mean it.) Scroll down until you see it.

This vid is, okay. Sweet and sad and it makes me love Daniel a little more each time I see it. (And given how many times I have watched it in the course of picking vids and writing them up, well. Let's just say that my cup o' Daniel love o'erfloweth. Fortunately, I know the cure for this: OMG-poor-pwecious-widdle-Daniel fic should bring me back into balance.) Because Daniel's life (well, along with all the other members of SG1) is about getting up and trying one more time, about finding one more thing to try, and this vid shows that very clearly. (I've said it before and I'll say it again: he gets knocked down, but he gets up again. They're never gonna keep him down.) But I'm recommending this vid now, out of all the other SG1 vids I have and love, because it also makes my jaw drop open in astonishment each time I see it. (This is after the Daniel love increases. There's a strict order to this; it's not just some haphazard series of reactions, you know.) This is a vid to an a capella song, people. And it's slow, and percussion-less, and just generally the song that should not be vidded. But the vid works, and it's gorgeous. I don't even miss the cutting on the beat, because Barkley has found a way of making the editing and motion of this vid match the vocals. This is - this is the vid that proved to me that there's no such thing as an unviddable song in the hands of the right vidder. Just, wow.

(Side note: does anyone have a copy of this song? Does anyone even know who is singing it? Because there are several million versions of this song out there.) Got it, thanks!

The Vid That Makes Me Wonder What the Hell the Writers of SG-1 Can Possibly Do That They Haven't Already Done. Twice. Often by Giving Someone an Unfortunate Outfit or Haircut. Eight Years On, by Brihana25, aka brihana25.

Availability: All the time. Don't try to play this one in VLC.

Part of me feels bad for recommending this, because it's a context-dependent vid. In this series, I've been trying to pick vids that anyone can get, even someone unfamiliar with the source. But to understand this vid, you need to be familiar with most or all of the references in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," and it would probably also help to be at least a little familiar with SG-1. (I myself am only marginally familiar with the canon; I've watched vids but I've never seen any eps of the show itself. But then, I'm probably missing a lot in this.) But I am damn well going to recommend this anyway, for two reasons. First, it makes me laugh. (Yes, there's that predominating theme again, but let's just say it's probably a good idea to have a peppy vid after "Another Train.") I mean, any vid that has a shot of angsty, he's-not-crazy-he's-just-seeing-things Daniel in the padded room matched to the lyric "Catcher in the Rye," that's a vid I'm going to keep and watch again and again. And, second, it makes me nostalgic. Which is impressive, since it's nostalgia for a place I've never been, or rather, a show I've never seen. But this is Brihana25's celebration of the first eight years of SG-1 (what you might call the "Classic Team" years), and it's just - I watch this, and I need to go read some nice solid team-centered fan fiction immediately. In short, this vid makes me love the source. And that's why I need to recommend it, and why you need to watch it. But, uh, only if you can tell Jack from Daniel and you know who Boris Pasternak was.

(I can't help you with the Jack from Daniel thing. But this site has links for all the references in the song. Warning for non-Opera users: the site is eye-breaking. Warning for Opera users: switch modes the second this loads, because otherwise ow ow ow. And if anyone has a better, less migraine-inducing site for this, let me know, okay?)

Some TV Shows Not Mentioned Above (Look, It Was a Category on the Poll, Wasn't It? And It Got More Than 150 Votes. Technically, It Counts.)

The Vid That Will Spring to Your Mind, No Matter How Much You Wish It Wouldn't, the Next Time You See a Member of the LAPD. Bawitdaba, by Melina, aka melina123. The Shield.

Availability: All the time. Scroll on down.

I once saw this vid described - and unfortunately I don't remember where - as the ultimate action vid. And it is, no doubt; if you want to see a strong action song with an even stronger action source (apparently; I mean, I make no promises about the actual source, but the clips Melina chose are sure, um, action-packed), watch this. But I actually like it for the contrasts and the narrative progression. I have no idea who the bald guy is (We'll just call him Baldie, shall we? Although he'd probably prefer Bald Eagle), but this vid is about him, and the weird contrasts in his life: his grim, dirty working life and his normal family, and his job, where he's supposed to be one of the good guys, but frankly it's sometimes pretty hard to tell the difference between Baldie and the people he arrests. (Aside from the badge, of course; that's always a helpful clue.) It's also - I know better than to say "the song choice is so perfect," because it's not all that persuasive, but I'm going to say it anyway, because it is. I mean, it just pretty much sums up the whole vid (and says some interesting things about the source, I would think) that Bawitdaba is so perfect for a cop show. It could've been written about this show, although possibly Kid Rock had other ideas. (I wouldn't know. Even if I could read minds, Kid Rock's is not one of the ones I'd choose. I have limits.) This is one of those vids that makes me want to know much, much more about the source.

The Vid That, Because of My Tragic Past, Brings Me Right to the Brink of Writing a 12-15 Page Paper (One Inch Margins, Double Spaced) Every Time I See It. Circles, by Laura Shapiro, aka laurashapiro. The West Wing.

Availability: All the time. You will need to email Laura for the password to her vids. (Seriously. You want the password for her vids.)

Laura's pretty much done Don Quixote one better, here; she's vidded the unviddable fandom. See, I've never seen The West Wing, but I've seen Sports Night, and I know that the strength of a Sorkin show (Or, you know, whatever. Show that was originally by Sorkin and still kind of bears his footprint even if he's moved on.) is the dialog. And you can't vid that. So any vids based on this show should pretty much look like actual footage from the White House: boring, repetitive, and slightly worrying. This vid? So very not. I don't even know these characters and I'm entranced by this. She's - see, okay. I'm struggling here, because in my dark and murky past I wrote not one but two papers about circle symbolism in Moby Dick, and that kind of thing marks a woman for life. So I'm really afraid that at any minute I'm going to stop talking about Laura's brilliant use of movement and the way the circles are literal and figurative - and, see there? I was about to do it - and start talking about how the concentric circles are metaphors for the progression of the...and of course you've already tuned me out, and you may well be having hideous flashbacks to freshman English. I'm sorry. Let me back away from my little issue here, and just say: you have to see this to understand what I mean. This vid could probably be used as a textbook on movement within clips and the matching of movement to music. You need to see this. And I need to stop talking about it, because I feel the Moby Dick madness coming on again.

The Vid That Is Just Like Billy the Singing Bass, Except That It's Actually Funny and Good to Have Around. Bright Future in Sales, by Gwyneth, aka gwyn_r, Jo, aka feochadn, and Christy, aka movies_michelle (Thanks, Killa!). Wonderfalls.

Availability: All the time. You will need to email Gwyn for a password to get into the site.

This is another vid that makes me deeply curious about the source. See, I picked this one in large part because it makes me laugh. It's a very funny vid, and not in the "OMG Aragorn and Legolas are the Princes of the Universe!" way. (Not that there is anything wrong with that. Not at all. I adore joke song vids; I have many and watch them regularly.) It takes a very deft hand (or, in this case three hands, or do I mean six?) to create a vid that showcases the humor of the source. Even if the source is like nitrous oxide in TV form (and I guess Wonderfalls could be, but it seems unlikely), that generally doesn't carry over to the vid. But in this one, the humor so totally comes through. I have no idea why or how, but I'm betting song and clip choice have something to do with it. This vid is 50% the perfect (by which I mean perfectly hysterical) reactions the main character has to her weird, weird life, and 50% singing animal statues, and I just don't know of a better recipe for joy anywhere. And when you have reactions to the singing animals? In a store? While the song is talking about a bright future in sales? It goes well beyond joy, into that sublime and perfect ecstasy that fic characters mostly experience during their One True Sex Scenes. But this vid, this is better than se - okay, no. I was about to go too far, there. But it's definitely funnier than almost all the sex I've ever had. And, face it: you need to watch a vid that has animal statues singing a song by the Fountains of Wayne. Don't even try to deny it.

Some Movies Not Mentioned Above (Likewise, and You'll Never Know How Sad I Was That Anime Didn't Also Make the 150 Mark)

You Know All Those Stories in Which a Male Character Is Described as a Thirteen-Year-Old Girl? This Is the Vid That Does the Same Thing. My Happy Ending, by Katheryn, aka tallulah71. Gladiator.

Availability: All the time. Scroll on down - it's near the bottom.

Yes, this is the Avril Lavigne song. Yes, I mean that Gladiator, the one with Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix. No, these two things should never, ever work together - but oh my god how they do. This vid pretty much had me from the second clip, because I was just - Avril says, "So much for my happy ending," and Maximus goes thonk on the ground and I laugh and laugh and laugh. It is absolutely perfect and the knowledge that it should be so very, very wrong just makes the whole thing sweeter. (I told you I had a thing for "Why Does This Work, God? Why? Why?" vids, right?) But I warn you: once you have seen Maximus as an angsty, love-sick teenaged girl, there is no going back. Oh, you can watch the movie seriously - I have, in fact - but at the back of your mind there will always be this little voice reminding you that Commodus is everything, everything that he wanted, and you will giggle just a tiny bit. Or maybe a lot.

(Side note and dire warning: Shortly after I first watched this vid, I visited my dentist, who has an extremely annoying in-house video thing, where they play a handful of movies, and always in the same order, so that if you make a series of appointments at the same time of day, you will always see precisely the same thing, which sucks because whoever selects the movies must do it by throwing darts at the IMDb. Anyway, on that visit, the movie I got to see was Gladiator. Really. No, I have no idea why they showed this in every room in a dentist's office - I mean, something a little less gory (and more PG-rated) would seem, you know, a bit more apposite. So I was sitting there having my teeth cleaned and trying not to give in to the impulse to run away now now now, and over the dentist's shoulder I saw Maximus going thonk, and suddenly I was giggling. Not a good idea when someone else's hand is in your mouth, for the record. Although my dentist took it pretty well, but then I'd already bitten him a few times. So it might be better not to watch this if you go to my dentist.)

The Vid That Will Destroy Your Entire Childhood in the Course of a Single Verse. Don't Worry, You'll Be Laughing Too Hard to Care. Frigging in the Rigging, by Skud, aka damned_colonial. Muppet Treasure Island.

Availability: All the time.

This is another recommendation that arises from my tragic love affair with highly inappropriate vid songs, except that this song is right. It's just also very, very wrong. Like, you can't really know the definition of wrong until you've seen this vid. The first time I saw this, I spent the first portion desperately trying to believe it was any other movie, and then the first shot of actual muppets showed up, and, and - okay. I can't speak of it. The trauma is still too real. But oh my god how this puts a whole different complexion on every damn shot in the vid, from Kermit looking noble and captainy at the wheel to Long John Silver chasing Jim. And I love the muppets, I really do - Beaker is one of my favorite characters anywhere, right up there on the list with Ein from Cowboy Bebop. (Um. Not that I have a preference for characters that don't speak an actual language or anything.) And I adore Kermit. And yet I love this vid, even though it strongly implies things about Kermit that I can't even bring myself to type. Oh, and this one has a cookie at the end that you absolutely must see, because it's a shot of Sam Eagle (Sam the Eagle?) doing exactly what you yourself will be doing by the time you're done watching. But don't let the wrongness dissuade you! There are muppets! Cheerfully singing about buttfucking! No, really, you have to see this. Don't let your kids anywhere near it, though, or you'll be answering hideous questions about Kermit's relationship with Fozzy forever.

The Vid That Makes Me Say, "Oh, James, You Tragic, Cracked Shell of a Crime-Fighter." (Which, of Course, Takes Me Immediately to a Very Unfortunate James Bond/Batman Place. But We'll All Pretend I'm Sane Anyway, Right?) This Is War, by lithium_doll. GoldenEye.

Availability: All the time. The link will take you to the vid page. But you might want to hurry and download this one, because the vidder wanted to take it offline, like, a year ago, and I asked her to leave it up so I could rec it. Now that I (finally) have, she might take it down.

See? I'm not only posting comedic vids with songs that should not work, because this is not funny and the song is absolutely damn perfect for this source. I love the way this vid is cut, and I love the clear narrative here, but most of all I love the way the combination of song and source juxtaposes (oh my god, listen to me, I sound like I think I know what I'm talking about) the personal and the - hmm. Professional? Which is something that this movie did better than any other Bond movie I've seen. And it's weird, because somehow giving Bond something to be genuinely conflicted and angsty about makes him look cold and dead and vaguely creepy. (And also kind of gay, but we aren't talking about that.) Or maybe it's just that when you subtract the shiny and put Bond up against some more realistic music, you get to see what he really is. Which is, um. Well, let's just say I finished this vid with a much greater understanding of why I found Alec Trevelyan more compelling and sympathetic than Bond himself. (And, no, it was not because Trevelyan was played by Sean Bean. Shut your mouth.) This was one of the vids I watched in the first month or so of compulsive downloading (TFV: fucking her bandwidth through the floor since April 2004), and I'm astonished at how much more I get out of it now; I still adore it, but I can see a lot more of why I love it. I can be taught! This is very exciting. In another four years or so, I might also understand cutting on the beat, and then there will be no stopping me.

Yes, welcome back to Vids You Really Should Watch (In the Opinion of One Who Probably Doesn't Know). But, hey, before we get to the downloading portion of the post, let me rec a community to you: the_reel, which is kind of like crack_van, except it's for vids, and also there's con-crit on vids upon request. Go sign up to rec something, people. Or just watch the community, because this is a very cool idea. I'm not saying it will save me from this totally out of control vid-reccage spree, because it won't (oh my god Ocean's 11 and X-Files tipped the 150 mark since the last post and I will never ever be done with this), but it will make me a happier human.

And. On to the vids. If you haven't read the disclaimer that explains why I don't know anything about vids, you should head back a post. Short version, though: if I was stuck in an SGA-style exceedingly improbable life-or-death situation, where my knowledge of visual media was all that stood between John and Rodney and a very shiny death in each other's arms, they would be fucked.

Harry Potter

The Vid That Always Makes Me Want Some Chocolate. I Can't Say Why, Exactly. It's Just This Thing. Remus? A Little Help Here? Year Three: Under Ice, by ashinae.

Availability: That link will take you to Ashinae's main vids page; this one can be found in the Harry Potter category. (Hands up everyone who is surprised by that. And, if you have your hand up right now? Um. You need a nap.) Ashinae has been having some server problems, but everything should be dandy and sleek and trouble-free by now. If it isn't, please let me - or her - know.

Okay, see, Harry Potter is one of those fandoms where the vids just really don't work for me. In this case, it's not because I don't know the canon - it's because I do. It's that I consider the books the canon. The movies are pretty and kind of fun, but the characters just aren't the ones I hold in my head, and the character interactions never feel exactly right, and, well. The movies are not my canon, okay? Mock me if you must. So I'm already starting from a huge handicap when I look at HP vids. (And, side note - this is exponentially true when I'm watching HP shipper vids. My brain seizes up in this whole fit of, "OMG NOOOO! He's, like, twelve! And disturbingly wee!" I tell you, I do my best to revel in perversion, but sometimes I run into these weird...ethics-things. It's sad.) Ashinae totally conquered my little HP-movie-canon problem in this vid. I like all her "Year" series vids (hint: the other two are "Year One" and "Year Two"), but this is definitely my favorite. I love the way she uses visual metaphor in this, with the dementors as the water and their effects as ice and snow; it's easier to feel the grim, soul-leeching chill of the dementors while watching this vid than it is when you're watching the whole movie - or reading the book, for that matter. I love the focus and cut of this movie, too; I'm not sure precisely what Ashinae did - and anyone who can tell me will be adored, and I mean that - but this song should be very hard to vid compellingly. Part of that is obviously that she's taking her musical punctuation from instruments other than just drums, but there's something else going on here, too. I don't know what. It is exceedingly nifty all the same.

Pirates of the Caribbean

The Vid That's All About Making a Pairing out of Nothing at All. Well, No Shared Screen Time, Anyway. Tango, by mimesere.

Availability: pretty much all the time. Link newly updated! All should be working!

Norrington and Sparrow shared maybe, um, two minutes of screen time? I forget how much, exactly. Plus, Norrington was only in this movie for like twenty-five minutes total. (And, really, he deserved at least twice that. More, even.) And yet the tension between them is, for me, one of the most interesting aspects of the whole movie. (Sorry, Will. It's not that I don't love you and your adorable little dorky quest. It's just...okay. I tend to forget you when you're not on the screen. And also sometimes when you are. Also, you may think it's clever to hide your little alien mossy friend in plain sight on your upper lip, but trust me: we've all noticed that that isn't a mustache.) But, hey - we're slashers. We don't need a lot of canon declarations of loviness. We thrive in the absence of them, in fact. But it's a bit more difficult to thrive in the near total absence of on-screen interaction when you're dealing with slash vids. Which is why this vid amazes me, because it totally sells the pairing. Well, that and the fact that it is very suggestive. Because, okay, when I remember this? I remember it featuring Norrington and Sparrow doing the Dance of Extremely Sexy Mutual Loathing, also known as "I hate you! Now fuck me!" (A very popular number in any fandom, let me say.) I remember it (the vid, people) featuring the two of them swordfighting, in fact. But it doesn't, for a very good reason: as far as I know, they never actually did that in the movie. Mimesere somehow uses the music (Is there anything sexier than the tango? No. I thought not.) and the fast-paced, lovely editing to suggest the sexy hating and fighting in this vid. The result is, um. Surprisingly compelling.

The Vid That Reminds Me, Yet Again, That Disney Is at Right Angles to Real Life. Maid on the Shore, by Marna, aka commodorified.

Availability: pretty much all the time. Scroll down a bit to find the right vid.

Okay. You know, I am not a critical consumer of popular culture. (I'm hardly a sentient consumer of popular culture, actually, but that's this whole other story.) So I watched Pirates, and I enjoyed it very much (I am never happier than when cuddled up with some major anachronisms and really good special effects), and I thought about it very little, beyond a few yearning wishes that Sparrow and Norrington had way more screen time, and that someone had thought to confiscate Will's not-mustache. I was, yes, a little skeeved out by the whole gorgeous-young-maiden-abducted-by-bloodthirsty-pirates thing, but I was willing to suspend my disbelief. And then I saw this vid, and my disbelief came crashing down. (Which isn't to say that I don't still enjoy the movie just as much. See "popular culture, non-sentient consumer of," above.) In this vid, Marna recuts Elizabeth on the Black Pearl to reveal the fact that, well. That sequence? Is fucking creepy, and also not funny, and also did I mention the creepy? So if you're looking for the happy little pirate movie we saw in the theaters, this isn't the vid for you. But if you're interested in maybe the ultimate example of how a vid can, by changing context and tone, completely change the meaning of the canon, this is definitely a vid for you. (Actually, it isn't optional: this is a vid for you no matter what. Go! Download!) And, see, here's what's amazing about this one. You won't see anything in this vid that you didn't see in the theater. And yet you'll come away from it feeling like you did. (You may also come away wondering precisely what universe Disney films. A very alternate one, is my feeling on the matter.) Do not miss this one.

The Sentinel

The Vid That Celebrates the Pure, Pure Cheese of the Source. Black Cat, by Seah and Margie, aka flummery (two vidders, one LJ, double the fun - plus, without a doubt, the coolest layout ever oh my god so cool).

Availability note: pretty much all the time. Scroll on down.

In this household, we think of this as the "Gee, Jim sure is a dork" vid, but in fact you also get to see him get hit quite a bit, so it's like a wonderful double feature. I mean, it's just - could there be a better vidding concept than The Big Dork Smackdown? Especially in a canon that is, let's face it, not precisely cheese-free? I mean, we love it because it's cheese. Well, and because Jim and Blair are apparently unable to peel themselves off each other long enough to fight crime, and that's another thing you can see, in fact cannot miss, in this vid. (Actually, you can see that in almost every Sentinel vid; it's hard to watch one and not say - generally right out loud to your spouse - "They are so doing it, oh my god. Look! Right there! Doing it!" There's just one vid I can think of where that isn't true; it's Jim/Simon, and it is so incredibly carefully cut in order to keep Blair out of the Jim frames that it pretty much proves the whole "so doing it" point.) So. Cheese. Dork Smackdown. Jim and Blair fighting over who gets to be the girliest. Do I need to go into further detail about why you want to see it? (Because if I do: it will also make you look forward to the rather cheesy panther sequences. You thought that was impossible, didn't you?) And, hey. If someone out there has actually seen this canon - there's a shot in this vid of a guy in a sort of jacket-vest thing, wearing a white baseball cap and a tragic mustache. Best Beloved swears this is Jim in a cunning crime-fighting disguise, or maybe on his way to sub in for a member of the Village People. I say it isn't, mostly because there's no way Richard Burgi was getting paid enough to look like that much of a dork. Who's right?

The Vid That Makes a Very Apt Comparison Between Blair Sandburg and Liberace. I Am Quite Serious. Mr. Sandman, by Sally Seymour.

Availability note: all the time. Scroll all the way down.

Um. Apparently, I have a lingering fondness for Sentinel vids that showcase the canon's - well, I don't think I need to say the word again (cheese!). But let me say: there is a time and a place for wiggly-screen fades, and that place is so obviously The Sentinel that I would be surprised if they didn't occasionally use it in the canon. I love this vid because - okay. Normally I am not a fan of long, loving shots of just the head and shoulders of the main characters. I would rather the characters be doing something. Like falling down. Or fondling each other. (Both popular Sentinel choices; this is the only canon I know of where it's really hard to tell if you're looking at a bloopers-reel clip of Burgi and - Margaret? Moggie? Magrat? What is his last name? - being oh-so-gay, or if it's Jim and Blair being, you know. Oh-so-gay. God how I love this show.) But the "ain't he pretty" shots are so very right in this vid, so much so that I want to cry out, "Yes! They have dreams exactly like this! And they are Sentinel dreams and clearly prognosticatory, what is more!" Also, normally I am not the biggest fan of Linda Ronstadt and Dolly Parton, even when singing with Emmylou Harris, but - you know, I bet Jim actually has this song. It's a Jim song. Which is, yes, slightly at odds with the whole Army Ranger, Big Tough Cop shtick, but, I mean - have you seen the way he walks? And the not-entirely-manly way he jogs through the jungle like it's Venice Beach? He so sings along with Mr. Sandman in a heartfelt manner, is what I'm saying here. Plus, this vid deserves huge bonus points for using one of my least favorite shots in the entire canon (Wolf + Panther = OMGWTFBLUE?) in such a way that I cannot fail to giggle, and love it quite a lot, and then get all googly-eyed and wistful. (I'm sorry. It's just - Jim. And Blair. They earn the wistful sighs, people.) And I really wasn't kidding about the Liberace thing, either. You need to see this.

Smallville

The Vid That Cannot Be Described in Your Puny Earth Language. Drop Dead Gorgeous, by Shalott, aka astolat.

Availability: pretty much all the time. Scroll down until you see it.

The only honest rec for this vid would involve a lot of inarticulate handwaving while lying flat on the floor and laughing hard enough to cause brain damage. There's really no other way to put it. But once more into the breach, that's my motto, so I'll try. See, now, there's something about the Smallville canon that vidders seem to find very...freeing. It's like they're telling themselves, hey, the creators don't appear to be slavishly devoted to truth, justice to characters, or even sanity, so why shouldn't I make a vid implying strongly that Lex has bought Clark at auction for nefarious sexual purposes? (Answer: no reason at all. Frankly, I'm not averse to vids implying this in any canon whatsoever, but then I've always been No Morals Worth Speaking Of Girl.) Shalott has taken this particular freedom to a logical place, and when I say "logical place," I mean "a place that makes the best possible use of my 'assorted pairings' vid category." And may I just mention, in a possibly unrelated side note, that Bad Clark (aka Red Kryptonite Clark, but Bad Clark is just so much more evocative, don't you think?) is such a boon to us all - the vidders, the writers, the readers, the BDSM fanciers - that we should really send a note of thanks to the Smallville creators. We must be very very grateful for something as, um, exploitable as that plot line. And now you should go download this vid and revel in Shalott's use and abuse of Bad Clark. And other kinds of Clark. And also Chloe, Lana, and Lex. "Drop Dead Gorgeous": come for the gorgeous clipping and editing and the song choice that could not be more perfect, stay for the Naughtiest Space Alien and his random assorted cuddling.

(I actually wrote this about two months ago, apparently; I was searching through my flash drives for a file that just does not seem to be anywhere at all when I discovered this. I didn't even remember that I'd finished it. But I had, and it's here, and I'm posting it. Why the heck not?

And let this be a lesson to you all: index your damn drives.)

The Vid Feedback Project was triggered by a number of posts, but most directly sdwolfpup's Vid Feedback 101. Read the essay - it's a good one - but the message I took away from it was:

1. Vidders want feedback.
   
   
2. They want this feedback even from non-vidding viewers.
   
   
3. Any feedback that isn't overtly flame-filled or insane is welcome, including, "I liked this vid."
   
   
4. Further comments, such as emotional reactions, are also welcome.

This was very interesting to me. I am a vid watcher - oh, am I ever a vid watcher - but the closest I'll ever come to vidding is coming up with a lot of terrible vid ideas. (Example: Tub-Thumping by Chumbawumba for Daniel Jackson of SG1. He gets knocked down! He gets up again! They're never gonna keep him down!) But the thing is - whether you're a FF writer or not, you probably have all the tools at hand to discuss someone else's story. Or, god, I hope you do. But we don't write visual media critiques in seventh grade, and we don't memorize the vocabulary, and we also don't have a lot of experience with group discussions about visual media, so we can't learn by seeing others do it. (Wait. Why am I speaking for everyone? That should be me and I. Sorry.)

But, you know, vidders give me a lot of pleasure. They've taught me about canons I could never imagine watching. They've hand-fed me fandoms in three-minutes pieces. They've made me laugh. They've made me get snuffly and blinky-eyed. (And, yes, they've also confused the shit out of me, on occasions too humiliatingly numerous to document here.) And I know vidding is a lot of work; all you have to do is read the LJ of someone who is currently Great with Vid, and you'll realize that. So, here are these people, doing this time-consuming, challenging, creative thing, and then sharing the results with me free of charge. Clearly, I owe something to vidders. But what? I can rec vids, and I have, but - I'm not terribly confident about my ability to judge vids objectively, so most of my recs sets are grouped around themes like "Approximately Three Thousand Vids Set to 'Holding out for a Hero'" and "Lots of Things Go Boom." And, anyway, vid recs are pretty much exclusively for the vid-watcher, as you'll know if you've ever tried to get someone's permission to rec her vid.

So, according to the posts I mentioned way, way up there, what vidders would like is feedback. My assumption prior to reading those posts was that vidders wanted intelligent feedback. (The first reaction I ever got to a vid comment contributed to that impression. The Guide to Giving Opinions at AMV, about which more later on, contributed much, much more.) But here were live action vidders claiming they'd be happy with even uninformed feedback.

The obvious question was: were they right? And I had it within my power to answer that question. I can write uninformed feedback. I so totally can. And if they truly don't care what kind of feedback they get, well, how hard is it to write "I liked it!" and click send? (As it turned out, pretty damn hard. But I anticipate.)

( Excelsior! )

I'm about to ask an important question, maybe the critical question of fandom.

What is the slashiest fandom of them all?

Think you know? Tell me in the comments, and please provide examples.

Or read on, and I will tell you what provoked the question. Basically, it was the juxtaposition of two things: vids and a video game. Let's consider them in order, shall we?

See, I've been on a sort of vid-watching kick lately (in the same sense that the Trainspotting boys were on a sort of heroin kick). And one of my secret shames is an adoration of the "four minutes of the slashiest moments in this particular fandom" subgenre, aka the Slash Highlights vid; I love these, especially when I don't know the canon, which is most of the time. Jack pushes Daniel's glasses up his nose. Blair and Jim make breakfast together. Starsky and Hutch strip. Wesley feeds Angel from his arm. And my once-cold heart just melts. When I first started watching vids, these Slash Highlights ones astonished me. I kept thinking, did the creators know what they were doing? Did the actors come from some distant country that has no concept of personal space? And are those two guys just going to fuck right there on screen or what?

It was at this point that I encountered a bunch of Highlander Slash Highlights vids, and in particular this one scene where a short-haired guy (Methos?) walks into a room and sees or is introduced to a long-haired guy (Duncan?). And Methos checks him out. I mean, obviously, visibly, and with no other possible explanation for his actions, at least not that I can see. And then he smiles, and it is, in my considered opinion, an "Oh, yeah, I'm going to love fucking this guy" smile. It's the sort of scene that makes you turn to your Best Beloved, assuming your Best Beloved is watching the vid with you, and say, "Did I - did he - oh my god, did he?" To which your Best Beloved responds, through almost uncontrollable giggles, "Totally. Oh, God, totally. Gay! Gay! Gay!"

So I started wondering how many other fandoms have these moments, and which fandom has the most.

And then the Best Beloved and I got hold of Shadow Hearts: Covenant, a Playstation 2 game that easily takes the title Slashiest Video Game of All Time away from the previous title holder, which was the original Shadow Hearts game. In SH: C, you collect - seriously - gay porn to get a flaming tailor to make dresses for a doll. And you can see the gay porn, mind you, in the inventory screen. You have a party member who is a vampire professional wrestler who wears a butterfly mask and who is apparently conducting an intense UST-laden relationship with his teacher. You have character interactions that can only be described as "like the DCU, if all the writers got hit by pink kryptonite." Really, there's not a single hour of the game that isn't imbued with slashy slashiness. And that includes the slashiest cut scene I have ever beheld in all my born days, a scene so slashy that the BB and I have held on to the save right before it so we can watch it over and over, laughing like loons every time.

( The cut scene partially explained, for the 2.5 people who will care about it. Minor spoiler warning, if anyone is actually planning to play this game. )

In short, Shadow Hearts: Covenant is the motherlode of slash. Surely, I thought when I first encountered it, surely there is no fandom as slashy as this game?

So I ask you: is there? If so, what is that fandom? And what makes it so insanely slashy? Tell me. Convince me. Make me clap my hands because I believe in fairies.

I'm hoping that this will help me do my 111th post. Because that post should be a celebration of this LJ's core values. (Slash. And fandom. Also, slash.)

-The Evidence: Vid Recs, Because, After All, This Is a Recs LJ-

Want to see some slashy moments in the flesh? I can't promise that these are the slashiest vids in their fandoms, but they do contain most of the scenes I mention above. And some others that are equally ohmygodtheirloveissoobvious.

Stargate, Jack/Daniel: "Let's Hear It," by Relic 1979, has Jack pushing up Daniel's glasses and a bunch more; you can download it from Relic's website.

Highlander, Methos/Duncan (I think): "Just Like You," by Luminosity, features the "I'm going to love fucking this guy" bit. You can find it at Luminosity's website.

Angel, Angel/Wes: "If It's Hurting You" contains the Wes-feeding-Angel scene, and "Completely Pleased" contains a whole bunch of other Angel/Wes-ishness. They're both by Charmax, and they can be found at Bronze Ambition.

Starsky and Hutch, Starsky/Hutch: "Mighty Fine," by Kassidy Rae, shows the guys stripping, together, happily, and at some length, for reasons best known to themselves. It can be downloaded from her website.

Multifandom: "Dirty World," by Diana Williams, has great slashy moments from a bunch of fandoms. You can download it at her website; that site only features her newest vids for downloading, though, so eventually you will have to order a hard copy to get this one.

Multifandom: "Wouldn't It Be Nice," by Laura Shapiro, features another cross-fandom parade of slash. To get the vid, you'll need to email Laura for the password to her website, so the link is for that.