A Question for You

I want to thank those of you who said such amazingly wonderful things about me on meloukhia's love meme. I found those comments during a week that contained both a truly horrible round of bronchitis for the entire household and an ant invasion, and, really, I think the love meme was the good part of that week. So thank you not only for being nice, but for having perfect timing. You are awesome.

And, as payment, I am going to ask you to be more awesome. I'm sorry. It's just - I have questions. And I am hoping you have answers.

A Question about Cameras!

My birthday is fast approaching. And this year, I am resolved not to say, "I have no idea, um, whatever, I guess" when family members ask me what I'd like. This year, I am going to say, "Please put some money towards a new camera for me!" Because the camera I take all the earthling photos on has been good, but its annoying features annoy me more with each passing month. Also, it has started to have problems focusing. As in, it will sometimes take 20 or 30 pictures in a row without noticing that it is set to You Forgot Your Glasses mode. And these days there is a really dramatic pause between when I hit the button and when the picture is actually taken, a pause sometimes long enough that the earthling has not only moved out of the frame, but has also gone all the way to his room and selected a new outfit to change into. This suggests to me that its time as Main Household Camera is drawing to a close.

The last time I bought a camera, I knew nothing about them at all. This time, I have progressed to not knowing much about cameras but knowing what I don't like. I am hoping that somewhere out there there is a person who knows actual real things about cameras, who can provide me with shopping advice, including camera makes and so on.

I really, really want:

• Fast shutter speed. I want to hit the button and have the camera respond by taking the picture at that moment. Not in a few seconds. Not after the tiny camera elves get the memo. Not after the next EU president comes into office. Right then.
  
• Whatever it is that makes you able to take in-focus photos of fast-moving people in relatively low light conditions (in other words, indoors, during the daytime) without the flash. I know there are cameras that can do this! Mine, however, will not.

I really want (but am prepared to live without, if all the other features were perfect):

• A lot of optical zoom. Digital zoom is just not the same.
  
• Quick focusing and zooming ability, and no weird thing where I cannot zoom while the previous picture is displayed on the LCD screen.
  
• A viewfinder.
  
• A camera that does not require a degree to use. Or, if a degree is required, it should be one in biochemistry or forensic osteology, not photography or engineering.
  
• A camera that will fit into my diaper bag. It does not need to be tiny, but it does need to be smaller than, for example, my head. (One of the parents at the earthling's preschool has a camera that looks like it could conquer Kansas. It is very, very large, and has many removable lenses and other weird attachments including some things I swear I've also seen my oral surgeon use, and basically just seems underemployed taking photos of a toddler. It would be more suited to taking surveillance photos. Of bacteria. From Mars. That is too much camera for me.)

A Question about Gay History!

I am assuming that, fandom being what it is, there is someone somewhere in fandom who has a lot of knowledge of queer history. (If you know such a person, and that person is not on my friends list, I would greatly appreciate it if you'd point said person this way.) I am looking for books on what gay life was like in New York City before Stonewall - say, from 1930 to 1960. Anywhere in there. Non-fiction preferred, but I will read fiction if it's authentic and no one dies or ends up crazy or locked up somewhere or grimly involved in a loveless straight marriage because gay people can never be happy.

A Question about Mary Balogh (Spelling Potentially Contested)!

Best Beloved would like to start reading her works, and would appreciate some guidance on the best of them. What's a good first Balogh? BB likes good writing, and I hear from several of you that Balogh delivers on this front. She does not like non-con, heroines younger than 18, or infidelity.

(Note: The spelling of Mary Balogh's name is potentially contested because in our household her name has mutated. BB has yet to read a single one of her novels, and we've already renamed her Merry Balrog. No, there's no excuse. Although I have to tell you, straight up: I would read basically any novel written by Merry Balrog, because obviously you can trust someone who put that much thought into a pseudonym. And this is one of the many reasons why I don't understand the SF writers who insist that nothing people say online matters if they aren't posting under their real names. Have these people never noticed that choice of pseudonym tells you a lot about a person? Whereas a real name, at best, only tells you something about the person's parents.)

210: The Master Stroke Is, in This Case, the Fan Artist's Part

The One That Leaves Me Wondering Who the Mountains Were Borrowed from, and What the Fine Will Be Like When the Doctor Finally Returns Them. A Partial Map of Your TARDIS, by alibi_factory. Doctor Who.

I assume all of you have seen this. I don't care. I am recommending it because it is amazing and awesome and - okay. You know how sometimes you read a story and you think, This was written for me. The author doesn't even know my name, but this was written for me anyway? That's what I thought when I saw this. The artist doesn't know me from Fangirl Zero and still somehow managed to produce the exact fanart of my heart. This is incredible, people. Gorgeous and fascinating and filled with stories, the way my favorite art tends to be. And it's about the most fascinating character in the entire Whoniverse: the TARDIS. I just do not see how art can get better than this.

By the way, definitely definitely download the pdf of this one. This is something you want to see big and up close. I resisted for a while - I kept going back to the LJ post, and staaaaaaring at it in admiration, and squinting at the tiny text, and finally I realized I was being silly. Apart from anything else, I'm certainly going to want to have this by me if the internet burns down or anything. And it turns out that this is even better close up, which is surprising only because I didn't think things could get any better than this was on LJ.

(P.S. People who loved The Phantom Tollbooth as children: you will love this. But you may, like me, end up wanting to read many books based on this artwork, and as far as I know, they do not exist. Feel free to shake your fist at an unjust universe or pine away with me in the comments.)

(Addendum to the P.S. People who did not love The Phantom Tollbooth, or - worst case scenario - did not even read it, I am so so sad for you. I'm not sure you how you get through the day, really.)

The One That Proves That That Curvy Chess Set Was Always Intended to Be Drawn by Gorey. And, Also, That a Drawing of a Tribble Is Far More Lifelike Than the Version Produced by the Beleaguered Props Department of TOS. Edward Gorey's "The Trouble with Tribbles", by Shaenon K. Garrity. Star Trek.

It's entirely possible that you need to be familiar with Gorey's work to appreciate this, but if you aren't, that is a tragedy, and probably it would be against the law under a more enlightened legal system than any of those currently operating on this planet (earth). Go acquire some familiarity with him, and then come back to this rec. (Apart from anything else, you will need said familiarity as you roam around fandom. The man has been an influence.) The Gashlycrumb Tinies is the traditional place to start. (Anyone who knows of a better quality online version, please link me; Neville's ennui doesn't quite come through here. Turns out bleakness is leached out of low quality scans; apparently true boredom is in the details.)

So. Now that we all know about Edward Gorey, there's really nothing else to say. Gorey's style + The Trouble with Tribbles = sheer delight, obviously. But this piece stands out even so - it is absolutely perfect. This is precisely how Gorey plotted things and told stories, and this is precisely how Star Trek would have gone if he'd been at the helm. (I cannot be the only one who wants to see Gorey's "The Naked Time," right? I thought not. But, overall, I have to be glad that Gorey wasn't in charge, since a) nearly all the plots would end up with the crew, at best, dead b) most episodes would only last about ten minutes and c) there'd be much less slashiness, since I feel confident Gorey would have noticed the whole Kirk/Spock true love forever thing the TOS writers had going on, which would have meant they'd be either fucking or dead by episode 3.) And, of course, the art is wonderful. (Someone please tell me there's an icon out there of Uhura looking at that tribble. It needs to be an icon.)

The One Reminding Us That Arizona May Be the Place to Vacation If You're Looking for an Unscheduled Side Trip to Mexico. (Certain Skin Tones Only. Casualties and Fatalities Entirely Your Own Fault for Being Brown in Arizona in the First Place.) Supernatural, by glockgal. Supernatural.

I am pretty sure everyone has already seen this. (Everyone certainly should have seen this, because it is awesome.) But I am recommending it anyway, because. Well. Because I want to. Sorry, I thought I was going to have some big principle or something to finish that sentence with, but it didn't work out.

Anyway. Go look. You will want to see this. Desi Supernatural! I've talked before about my adoration of racebending art. (Now, of course, I wonder why Supernatural gets all the racebending art love. I'm entirely happy it gets so much, and yet - where is the Japanese Batfamily art? Or the John and Rodney Are Still Totally Doofuses, Just Middle Eastern Doofuses This Time art? (Bet that would put the blowing up a solar system thing in a new context!) Or the Given All the Other Anachronisms, Is There Any Reason Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana Shouldn't Be First People art? Maybe I'm just missing out; my system for finding fanart is not exactly fine-tuned. If these pieces exist, I need links right now OMG.)

So: social commentary, a great side view of the Impala, and one of the best facepalming-Sam and douchebag-Dean works ever rendered. This, in short, is art worth viewing.

I do have one tiny quibble with this, though. Is it just me, or are the ghosts way too cute? I want to scritch them on their obviously sheet-covered heads and give them mini Twix bars and maybe take a couple of pictures, so I find it impossible to believe that Old Man Whathisface actually died from ghosts. Probably he fainted from their cuteness and hit his head and was mistaken for dead. Or maybe he just dramatically fell down, clutching his chest, because it seemed really important to them to be scary and he didn't want to hurt their widdle feelings. Yes. That is the narrative as I choose to believe it.

The Ones That Give Me Hope That Someday I Will Be Able to Look Outside and Sing, "It's Snowing Robots." (Obviously, an Unreleased Single by the Weather Girls.) Snowflakes, by ldhenson. Fandoms include: Holmes, Jeeves & Wooster, Master and Commander, Batfamily, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Supernatural, and Top Gear (plus others I couldn't identify at first glance). Also one that is not a fandom, but totally fannish. If I could buy you all a snowflake, this would be yours!

I understand that there are parts of the world where it will soon start to snow. There are parts that may even have snow at this very moment. We are still having days over 80 degrees here, so I am trying to suppress my resentment of you snow-having types. (Although guess what, snow people? We are still getting tomatoes from the garden! And basil! Which would be more of a triumph if I wasn't so tired of making pesto.)

Anyway. I thought, what with winter coming for the northern types and departing for the southerners, this would be a good time to link you to the most gorgeous snowflakes I have ever seen.

One of the reasons I don't feel as comfortable recommending vids and art as I do fan fiction is that I don't understand how these things happen. I could never write the stories I rec, but at least I can grasp the basic process: you start going tippity-tap, and there's a lot of mess and deletion (drinking, weeping, and cursing optional) in the middle, and at the end you have a written thing. I know how to write. But I cannot imagine any conceivable chain of circumstances in which I could start with a piece of paper and a very sharp pair of scissors and end up with something that looks like any of these things. I am far more likely to accidentally cut off a chunk of my hair. (Yes, I've done this.) Or a body part. (I've only ever cut off part of a body part, which I view as a significant triumph.)

So I tend to view art (and vids) as miracles, and recommending miracles seems like hubris. If that's true, though, these snowflakes, and all the art featured here, are totally worth it. Because you people have got to see this.