[Earthling] Breastfeeding at Three Years. No, Really.

(Now unlocked!)

• You have to breastfeed.
  
• You have to breastfeed until the baby is six months.
  
• You have to breastfeed until he's seven months.
  
• You have to breastfeed until he's one.
  
• You have to breastfeed until he's two.
  
• You should breastfeed until he's four.
  
• You should wean at nine months.
  
• You should wean at one year.
  
• You have to wean by eighteen months.
  
• Every baby should be weaned by two.
  
• The baby will wean himself when he's ready.
  
• Extended breastfeeding leads to secure attachment.
  
• Extended breastfeeding leads to over-attachment.
  
• Extended breastfeeding leads to improved behavior.
  
• Extended breastfeeding causes behavior problems.
  
• Extended breastfeeding makes your baby smarter.
  
• Extended breastfeeding causes developmental delay.
  
• You shouldn't breastfeed a baby with feeding problems, even if he can.
  
• You're causing feeding problems by breastfeeding.
  
• A baby with feeding problems needs to be breastfed more than the average baby.

All of these things were said to me at some point in the last four years by at least one healthcare professional. (I'm not even including all the crap I've heard from people who don't have relevant degrees, mostly because it would fill a book. Although I tell you what: it would be a funny book.) I've learned to largely ignore healthcare professionals when it comes to breastfeeding, yes, for obvious reasons, but also because of the one thing I've learned from being a mother and from talking to other parents, which is:

You have to feed the baby you have.

That is the only real rule about feeding that I know. You have to feed your baby. Not the fantasy baby you had in your head before yours was born. Not an ideal baby. Not the one the books talk about. Not your best friend's baby. Your personal, actual baby. Some women want to breastfeed and can't. Some women could, but their babies have no interest in it. Some babies are too sick to breastfeed. Some babies (mine included!) won't take a bottle under any circumstances. Some babies can't tolerate any formula you can afford. Some babies are absolutely done with breastfeeding at eight months, or at a year, and some are still very into it long after they are toddlers. Some babies self-wean. Some babies have to be pried off the boob. There is no hard and fast feeding rule. The only thing that is true for all babies is that they all have to be fed.

And no matter how you feed your baby, you will hear a lot of stupid crap about child-rearing and baby feeding from people who should know better. (If you find a way to circumvent that one - earplugs? duct tape? mayhem? - let me know, please.)

That said, here are a few things I've learned during my three years of breastfeeding that I didn't know going in.

( Pumping Sucks )

( Most Mothers Have Some Feeding Guilt )

( Medical Professionals Still Hate Breastfeeding )

( It's Okay to Need Help )

( Everyone Lies (About Breastfeeding) )