thefourthvine | Slashy Nominations 35: Actually, It Is a Laughing Matter

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Slashy Nominations 35: Actually, It Is a Laughing Matter

Yes, it's more humor. See, the thing is, after a few seriously angsty ones I need something light-hearted and funny. And as I've mentioned, I've been exploring the Buffy fandom, which is basically the second-largest angst, doom, and gloom resource in the world. (I'm thinking of petitioning the United Nations to declare it a World Heritage Site, to preserve the darkness for future generations.) So I find myself needing extra doses of humor these days, and I'm passing that humor on to you. (Which is only fair, since I have every intention of passing on the angst to you lot as well.)

Best FF That Proves That Fortune Really Does Favor the Foolish, Because If It Didn't, Benton Fraser Would've Been Killed by an Insane Bag Lady by Now: Interrogation, by speranza. Due South, Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser. This is one of those stories that I turn to again and again, especially when I've just read a novella involving, you know, darkness and sourness and a 2,300-word torture scene. Why? (I mean, of course, why do I turn to this story, not why do I read darkfic. The latter passeth all understanding.) Well, consider the experimental line of Hallmark cards. Fraser's list of enemies. The mad or incompetent toaster bomber. Plus, is it just me, or is Frannie worried about what else Ray and Fraser might be doing in the interrogation room? I think she's a closet slash reader, people.

Best FF Using the Phrase "Snookie-Ookie-Wookums" (Please, God, Let This Be the Only FF Using the Phrase "Snookie-Ookie-Wookums"): Every Fanfic Ever Written!, by Mooncalf, aka

tsukikoushi. All fandoms, all pairings. You say you have no time to read fan fiction these days? Even fast fic is too much for you? Well, read Mooncalf's nifty encapsulations, and you'll never need to read another. She's missed a few of the rarer types, yup, but I think you'll be impressed at how much she covers. I know I was. My own personal favorite type of story: The Backstory Fic, Part 2.

Best FF That Needs to Be Forwarded to Every Marvel Author Immediately. With a Kick in the Pants or Two.: Phone Home, by Domenika. (I think, anyway. It's sort of hard to tell her name from her site.) X-Men comics, gen. I don't know if those of you who haven't suffered under the Insanity-Inducing Lash that is the X-multiverse will find this as funny as, for example, I do. I do know that even minute exposure to said Lash years and years ago will be enough to cause you to giggle at this. I laughed myself sick at this one, even though I quit my X habit cold turkey in my last year of college, when I realized that I could keep up with the classes my parents paid for me to take, or I could keep up with Marvel comics, which I had to pay to read and then pay for therapy sessions to resolve the existential confusion they induced. I couldn't do both, and I still believe I made the right choice. If you've managed to steer clear of the X gravitational well but you'd still like to get the joke, look at Alex Summers' biography, courtesy the scarily thorough folks at Mutatis Mutandis. Alex Summers is the main character in this story, so reading this will help you understand the background. Even more, though, reading his bio will give you a tiny, tiny sampling of the hysteria, chaos, and ludicrous insanity that is the canon for this world. Warning: Exposure to Marvel comics plot lines may cause cranial pain, facial swelling, and unexplained bleeding. In extreme cases, seizures and dribbling may result. Discontinue reading if any of the following symptoms appear: confusion, loss of will to live, scaly rash, disruption of electrical fields, secondary mutation.

Best Humorous FF Featuring References to Martin Luther King, Jr. and Charles Dickens: I Had a Dream, by francesca. The Sentinel, Jim/Blair. For some reason, I just find this really - funny. Maybe it's the whole "Christmas Carol" riff - I have a well-documented weakness for the Ghosts of Various Holidays of Various Times. Maybe it's that this is the strangest method of initiating a relationship I've seen yet in FF. Maybe it's that this all seems so very, very, well, Blairy - I can just totally picture him doing this. Or maybe it's because I'm with Jim on this one; I actually find Blair's dream rather reassuring, too. (And I am here to tell you, folks, that it is a sad, sad day when you realize that you're the Jim Ellison in your own personal RL pairing.) I find the happy ending, the light-heartedness, and the silliness comforting, too. Read on, my friends, for grim fic returns soon to a blog near you.

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I have noticed that you've mentioned a couple of times that you're new to the Buffyverse. Let me know if you need explanations or recommendations--I've watched every episode of Buffy, although I am a little ashamed to admit that, given the seventh season....

Also? I read all your due South and Sentinel recommendations, even though I've never even SEEN due South...

YAY! I have tempted one more person to the dark side of fan fiction! Read outside your canon knowledge! Join us, the non-canon FF readers!

I actually find I really like reading FF when I don't know the canon, because I'm not wincing and muttering, "Will would never say that" or "Aubrey would never do that" or "Wait, now, wait. I'm pretty sure that's contradicted in, let's see, the fifth chapter."

And, yes, I need all the help I can get with Buffy. Recommendations are always appreciated. In particular, right now I need:

1. The Classics. Most fandoms have classics - the ones that everyone has read, the ones that everyone talks about, the ones that defined a new pairing or a new type of story in the genre.

2. The Spikeless. See, normally I get into a new fandom by reading my most trusted writers' works in it; it's a painless, safe way to start. But for some reason, every writer I trust who writes Buffy seems to be obsessed with Spike. Surely there's a world of Buffyfic beyond Spike? Giles/Ethan, for example, is almost canon (or so the Best Beloved thinks), and yet I haven't found much of it. (Oh, and a burning question that the BB can't answer yet: does Spike end up with a soul or what? Because a lot of FF has him acting like he's got one, but he's definitely still your basic snarky soulless evil bloodsucker right now. The BB, btw, is in the middle of Season Three.)

3. The Cheerful. I realize Buffy is a dark and angsty fandom, but there must be some humor or happy endings or something. I'd be delighted to see the proof of this theorem.

Okay, I have to get on my other computer to do the recs (shuddup!), which I will do, because I TOTALLY CAN, because I'm a big big geek. But let me answer all your Spikey questions right now. You're in the middle of Season Three? That would be immediately post-Becoming/II. ACATHLA. Yeah, whatever.

Answer: Yes. Spike gets his soul. IN SEASON SIX. At the end. But fanfic had him soul-wanked from about the first minute, because James Marsters took what was supposed to be a one-off character and made him multi-dimensional. [It's not his fault Joss Jossed the dimensions right out of him.] Even before Spike Got His Soul, though, he acted as though he had one: Drusilla, and then Buffy, and always Joyce, were the objects of his affection (Joyce in a totally platonic, I-ate-my-mum-will-you-be-nice-to-me kind of way).

Let me know what kinds of happy!fic you want to read--dark happy!fic, light fluffy happy!fic, Vampire happy!fic, which pairings, etc. Shuddup again. :D

ETA: You ask for Ethan/Giles fic, and I deliver:

http://strangeplaces.net/ethan/gunbunny.html

I'm trying to find good fic that's set only in the first couple of seasons, but MAN is it slow going! I'm still looking, though...

Oh, believe me, I'm there with you. Every time I try to sort through my FF database (yes, I know, I'm probably listed on the DSM IV-R as my own special disease category) looking for some specific thing to round out a nom set, I'm astonished at how hard it is.

You asked for specific requests before, and I apparently didn't reply. (I thought I'd replied. Brain getting ahead of the fingers again, I guess.) Happy fic of any stripe would be a real bonus in this fandom, since lots of what I'm reading right now could be summed up as "angst angst sex angst death angst the world ends," but really, I'll appreciate anything that's well-written. Well, almost anything - I can't handle animal deaths or suffering. There're some things I prefer to avoid, but I'll make exceptions in most cases not involving animals. Oh, and anything funny would be very much appreciated.

I'm happy with any pairing, really - Spike/Whoever-but-most-likely-Xander has been working just fine for me - but I do need to explore the Spikeless sooner or later. (Isn't there *any* fic with Angel? Although, really, I can't blame FF writers for not wanting to write about him.) At this point, I've read so much Spikefic that the show might as well have been called Spike the Dead Sexy Vampire.

Thanks for your help. I do know how tough it is to come up with recs, and I'm always grateful to my reccers. You people make the scary fandoms accessible to me, and I love you for it.

We can do Angel, but your request was for WELL-WRITTEN Buffyfic. :-) Angel got his own spinoff after Season Three, and there is some really excellent Angel stuff out there, but you have to know the Angel players. I'd be more than happy to play Buffy-Tutor, because I too am pathological (we'll write our OWN DSM-IV, dammit!), but Angel's going to take some doing. (You know, Buffy's in high school and her boyfriend has a tendency to go completely psychotic when they get it on. Great for ff.net writers of the fourteen-year-old persuasion, but difficult for lots of other people.) Meanwhile, I'm searching out some good fanfic databases with a heavy Season Three and below representation for you. OOO Project!

... but you're not the first to mention this, so perhaps I should rethink things.

Thanks for the nod. Am glad to amuse... and very glad Phone Home was written before current continuity 'cuz then it would be tragedy instead of a comedy.

~ domenika marzione (the DMZ (http://www.offpanel.net/dmz/))

The whole of the Marvel universe is a tragedy. No, wait. The fact that Marvel universe writers can't get their heads out of the seventy-second dimension long enough to write coherently - that's the tragedy. Sigh.

As far as your name goes, it's there, but it's hard to be sure what it is. Looking at the front pages, it could be either DMZ or Domenika. And when you go directly to the story pages - as, for example, when someone goes to "Phone Home" straight from my page - there's no author name attached at all. Might be a good idea to tack your name on every story somewhere. (Unless, of course, it's there and I just missed it. Entirely possible, I'm afraid.)

Okay! Just quickly, some funny stories from HP, since I can see that you're lacking in them:

Must-read:

'The Pop Goes the Weasel Trilogy (http://fix.dejabu.org/)' by Durendal

Harry/Draco:

'Tickle Me Pink (http://fix.dejabu.org/pink.html)' by Durendal, NC-17, CROSS-DRESSING
'How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back (http://fix.dejabu.org/groove.txt)' by Durendal
'Psychobabble: A Fanon Love Story (http://www.livejournal.com/users/tradescant/116565.html#cutid1)' by Tradescant, Various pairings, NC-17, INCEST, THREESOME, VARIOUS KINKS, An Austin Powers parody
'Three Little Pigs (http://nopespace.com/hp/tlp.htm)' by Nope
'Dancing Queen (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mistful/24441.html#cutid1)' by Maya
'Double Dare (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=954396)' by Silvia Kundera
'Valley Girl (http://glassesreflect.net/hd/valleygirl.html)' by Trin
'Happiness Involving a Tea-House (http://www.livejournal.com/users/nopejr/34537.html)' by Nope
'The Outing (http://www.astronomytower.org/restrictedsection/fic.php?fic=at:/authors/natt/O.html)' by Natt
'Smile, And That Will Mean I May (http://glassesreflect.net/hd/smilethatwillmean.html)' by Aspen, Various pairings, a parody of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
'The Crush Trilogy (http://www.sarcastic-muse.com/puremagnetism/authors/zahra/crushtrilogy.htm)' by Zahra
'The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hackthis/127944.html)' by Zahra

Severus/Harry:

'Contemporary Magcial Innovations, by H. Granger (http://www.squidge.org/~kali/cmi.html)' by Kai (YOU MUST READ THIS! TRUST ME!)
'A Modest Proposal (http://www.amplexus.org/~telanu/amodestproposal.htm)' by Telanu
'Master of Seduction (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sloanesomething/13646.html)' by Sloane
'A Solitary Pleasure (http://www.livejournal.com/users/luthien67/233002.html?#cutid1)' and part two (http://www.livejournal.com/users/luthien67/233443.html?#cutid1), by Luthien
'Cursed Artefacts for Sale (http://www.livejournal.com/users/icarusancalion/169434.html?#cutid1)' by Icarus
'Oh, Just This Once (http://www.amplexus.org/~telanu/justthisonce.htm)' and its sequel, 'Your Horoscope For Today (http://www.amplexus.org/~telanu/horoscope.htm)' by Telanu
'Gone to Pot (http://www.livejournal.com/users/wikdsushi/32938.html?view=136362)' by Sushi, NC-17
'How Gilderoy Lockhart Heroically Defeated the Evil in Professor Snape (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sloanesomething/30244.html)' by Sloane
'Ten Zillion Points from Gryffindor (http://www.kardasi.com/HPSS/Wave-2/zillion-amanuensis.htm)' by Amanuensis, NC-17
'Occasional Table (http://predatrix.slashcity.org/fiction/occtable.htm)' by Pedatrix, NC-17, SEX TOYS
'Dirty Story (http://predatrix.slashcity.org/fiction/dirty.htm)' by Pedatrix, NC-17, VARIOUS KINKS
'The Unhappiest Potions Master on Earth (http://diana.slashcity.com/Potter/Unhappy.htm)' by Diana, NC-17

Miscellaneous pairings:

'Harry Potter and the Mai Tai of Doom (http://www.geocities.com/hp_rareslash/sushi_maitai.htm)' by Sushi, Voldemort/Harry (Just trust me!)
'Two Death Eaters Walk Into a Bar (http://fix.dejabu.org/bar.html)' by Durendal, Implied slash for various pairings
'Psychobabble: A Fanon Love Story (http://www.livejournal.com/users/tradescant/116565.html#cutid1)' by Tradescant, Various pairings, NC-17, INCEST, THREESOME, VARIOUS KINKS, An Austin Powers parody
'Coin Tossers (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sloanesomething/43494.html)' by Sloane, Sirius/Remus
'Walk All Over You (http://swriters.slashcity.net/library/viewstory.php?sid=13)', Severus/Draco, SHOE FETISH
'Something Wicked This Way... Comes (http://www.livejournal.com/community/pornish_pixies/13456.html)' by Brodie, Severus/Harry/Remus, NC-17, THREESOME (based on scenes from Hamlet)
'Oral Sex (http://www.geocities.com/isiscolo/oral.htm)' by Isis, Sirius/Severus
'Harry Potter and the Jealous Husband (http://glassesreflect.net/hother/hpjealoushusband.html)' by Lady K. d'Azrael

Most of these are at least a tad out-of-character, and some drastically so. But they're fun. :D

I don't want to start reading Sentinal, damn it! You make it sound so intriguing. I'm on the slippery slope of fandom reading depravity and you're just increasing the incline.

Proud of yourself, aren't you?

You know that X-Men comicverse is like heroin, don't you? It looks so pretty and feels so good and the next thing you know you've got a monkey on your back and you're spending forty or fifty bucks a month because you're sure that that one cross-over issue you missed is the one that makes sense of the insane mismash that isn't continuity.

I mean, I quit caffeine, I broke the ice cream habit, I control the chocolate, the chocolate doesn't control me, but damn, it would be so easy to get sucked into the X-Men again. I find myself wondering if Gambit ever got his powers back. Shoot. It's evil, I tell you, and a darn good thing the comics aren't in the supermarkets anymore.

Phone Home is definitely very funny to anyone who's ever perused the comics and gone, "The wha' wha? With the who wha'? The hell."

Ooh, and Speranza, always a good choice.

Reading your recs reminds me of what a fandom reading slut I am. You haven't disappointed me yet.

I suspect this is actually a bad thing.

Read The Sentinel. You know you want to. Oh, you say you don't, but in your heart, the desire is there. Read! Read! Read!

Why yes, I am proud of myself - if I used icons, I'd make one with a suitable picture and the label "The Temptress" - but I won't be really proud until you have embraced the Sentinel slash. It is my goal to make everyone as ridiculously multi-fandom as I am.

I quit the X-Men cold turkey precisely because of the hideously addictive nature of it all. Not to mention all the damage trying to understand it does to your neurons. I prefer my bad habits in cheaper, less self-destructive forms - you know, like snorting powdered Waterford crystal.

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Slashy Nominations 35: Actually, It Is a Laughing Matter

The Buffyverse

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I could have swore I had my name on that somewhere...

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