Keep Hoping Machine Running

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this. But, see, recently liviapenn reminded me that I have been remiss in my duties as a fan. Specifically, I have neglected my Fannish Heritage. (Capitals inserted to make the topic seem more important. Also, I figure this way I'm enhancing the chances that soon a course called that will be offered for credit at universities. Ideally, I'm thinking a history elective. Ooo, and there should definitely be extra credit for porn.)

I do not want to be a Fannish Heritage Neglector. There would likely be shame involved.

So if anyone feels like making me a sampler for any of the following fandoms, with a focus on slashy moments and other topics of fannish interest, well, you would be doing me (and Our Heritage!) a great service.

• The Sentinel
• Star Trek: the Original Series (But I've already seen The Trouble with Tribbles. Um. Almost half of it, anyway.)
• Highlander (Ideally, with a focus on Methos, a character Best Beloved seems to find peculiarly appealing, although said appealingness took a slight hit tonight, when we found out his name is pronounced with a long E.)

You wouldn't have to send me all the episodes! Not even close. I'm just asking for, you know, a highlights reel. Like, if SGA appeared on that list, you'd only need to send me Sanctuary, The Defiant One, The Brotherhood, and Trinity, although of course if you felt like throwing in, for example, Rising or Underground or The Storm, that would be excellent, too. And if you wanted to explain why these were the critical episodes/scenes/vids/transcripts/insane theories posted on whatever fans used before they had the internet, well, I would love you forever and ever, and also, um. Be very grateful.

Sorry, haven't really got anything else to offer, unless you want a highlights reel for SGA, in which case I'd be happy to trade. (I doubt it, though. I think every fan in the universe has already been pimped into that fandom at least twice, and I suspect non-fans are starting to be sucked into the SGA Galactic Black Hole because of the sheer size of its Schwarzschild radius, and oh my god, now I have to write a story in which Rodney compliments John on the size of his Schwarzschild radius. It would make me giggle! And only me, probably, which is why I'm going to have to be the one to write it.) DVDs would be ideal, but we also have the technology to play VHS tapes, because we are very retro. Volunteers? Anyone? I stand ready to be educated.

And am I missing anything? If I know the canonical whys and wherefores of Kirk/Spock (is there canonical support for Kirk/Spock?), Jim/Blair, and Duncan/Methos, have I pretty much got my Fannish Heritage down? Will I be able to hold my head up if I am ever in a large gathering of fans? Will I be able to pass the undergraduate course? Keep in mind that I've already seen some of due South, SGA, SN, BtVS, and AtS. (And no one is allowed to make fun of me for being immensely proud of that. TV was an unknown country to me before fandom, people. I'm new there.)

And now that I've revealed my shameful lack of Fannish Heritage, let's move on to the service portion of this evening's programming, shall we? I'm requesting information on large fandoms, so it seems only right that I should be recommending from small ones.

Best FF That Shows Us That Travel Isn't Broadening and Love Has Nothing to Do with Never Saying You're Sorry. What Idiot Even Thought up That Whole Sorry Thing? That's the Wrongest Phrase Ever. Certain Dark Things, by jae_w. Bourne Identity, Jason Bourne/Marie Kreutz. (You should have seen at least the first movie to read this, and although I'm going to attempt to write the summary without spoiling the second, it's going to be tough.) Wow. I love this story. For me, the heart went out of the Bourne series (the movies, I mean; the books are a whole other deal) about fifteen minutes into the second movie, but it persists in stories like this one. This is just an astonishing look at the characters, at the way they lived between the first and the second movie, and the way they are. Neither of these people are perfect - um, and we're leaving out the whole assassin deal on Jason's charge sheet - and this shows that, and also shows why they belong together. Why they work together. This is basically a brilliant series of vignettes from Life on the Road with the Former Assassin and His Current Lover, and, frankly, I wish this had been the second movie. I would've loved it. The only thing I loved about the real second one was that I got popcorn. (The first one is fun, though. Things, you know, go boom, and also there is a pretty girl. I, uh, don't have high standards for movies; basically, if I'm sitting in a darkened theater, and I'm not crying at the end, and I didn't spend large periods of the movie reading in the hallway outside (Titanic, I am looking at you; I only sat through half of you, and my ass still hasn't recovered), I'm happy.) So. You know, just read this. It's amazing, and with an ending that just kills, and...did I already say wow?

Best FF That Perfectly Encapsulates the Outsider Perspective, Which Is Nice, Because It Means We Don't Have to Look at Flocked Velvet Elvis Paintings Anymore. Although I Suspect Some of Us Will Continue to Do So Anyway. Done, by elishavah. Boondock Saints, gen or I guess you could take it as Connor MacManus/Murphy MacManus*. But for me, this is gen; the incest won't be showing up until slightly later in this set. Yeah. (So, I bet you're really looking forward to the rest of this now, huh?) Here is another amazing character piece, and I love this because it shows what it must be like to be inside the head of a MacManus (ooo, that name) twin. Because, seriously? They speak their own language. (As well as, yes, eight others.) No, it's more than that; it's like they aren't even entirely separate entities, which is probably why they didn't ping me as slashy in the slightest when I saw the movie. (I know. I am branded with the Slasher's Shame: I saw the canon, and yet not the slash!) And I also love that this story fills in one of the many, um, plot lacunae (sounds much better than hole) in the movie, so perfectly it might as well have been in the movie. And, best of all, this has the kind of last line I dream about. sg_workshop was talking about opening lines this week, and although I never actually managed to post my comment (tragic browser crash; wit of the ages lost, except totally not), I had one, and it prominently featured my favorite opening line of all time: "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." (Which, in addition to its many other charms, is brilliantly poetic and nearly erotic when put through Lost in Translation.) But the thing is, compared to last lines, first lines are easy, which is why I am totally the slave of any piece of writing that closes brilliantly. And this story's last line - okay. You have to have seen the movie. But if you have, you read this, and it doesn't seem like much, and then...it echoes, is all I'm saying. Two minutes later (probably only thirty seconds for most people), it's just amazing. (Of course, two minutes after that, if you've been on LJ a while, you want to put it on a Boondock Saints icon. But it's best to focus on the first part of the reaction, I think.)

Best FF That Is Going to Make Me Happy Every Time I Mistype "Brian" As "Brain." For the Rest of My Life. Higher Education, by Resonant, resonant8. The Breakfast Club, John Bender/Brian Johnson, and, wow - that's a weird and probably unintended resonance in their names, isn't it? Didn't notice that until I typed them out. But all the more reason to slash these two, that's what I say. Although I don't think we need a reason beyond this story; this is the kind of FF that creates a fandom. Because, okay, my initial reaction to this concept was a hearty yawn. I did see this movie, yes, but I understood about .5% of it - all I really remember is that there were some desks. I mean, I had to dig up a plot summary to figure out who Brian and Bender were, even. So, obviously this didn't ping on my then-primitive (but now much enhanced and upgraded!) slash detector. I mean, it barely registered on my long-term memory. But I found myself actually remembering and understanding chunks of the movie as I read this story, and, even though Resonant never really describes either character, I started remembering what they looked like, how they moved, how they dressed. That's some impressive characterization, people. And the dynamic in this? Is just...perfect. I mean, absolutely, spot-on, dead-center...no. Here's the thing: the dynamic in this is the Platonic (only, you know, so not platonic, but work with me, here) ideal of a Resonant pairing. It's like she's been writing all this time because she was working up to these two. Now, I love and adore Res's work. And I rec it all the time. And I go into her stories with high expectations. And even so, I was stunned, because - well, look. Go read it, okay? You won't be sorry.

Best FF That Proves That I Am Dead to Shame. Also Possibly to Several of You, by the Time You've Finished Reading This Rec. Only Your Brother Knows the Places You've Been, by annakovsky. Super Mario Brothers, Mario/Luigi**. Yeah, um. You read that right. I figure anyone who didn't blink several times at the fandom and pairing has already read the story, and thus is no longer with us in this particular paragraph. But I'm hoping the rest of you stayed, even though it's kind of icky to imagine sex between little mustache-intensive animated guys who jump and, um, fight...turtles and hammers? I don't know. I never played the game; I was always more the Sonic the Hedgehog kind of girl. And, of course, there's the added ick of incest. Plus, because I really think this needs mentioning twice, animated video game characters, and I don't mean the weirdly androgynous RPG hotties, because those people are clearly begging to fuck in any number of positions - we're talking about, you know. Mario. And Luigi. Can I get a hearty ewwwww? Yeah. That was my reaction. Until I actually read this gorgeous little story, which is oddly sweet and plays on the Mario Brothers back story and is just stunningly good. Really. And maybe you're thinking: "Um. Yeah, still giving that one a miss, and happy to be doing so." But, well, look. I'm sitting here seriously considering using phrases like "wistfully beautiful" and "touching and gentle" to describe incest between mustache-wearing, turtle-jumping, pixilated plumbers. In other words, I'm voluntarily sacrificing what remains of my dignity, my reputation, and my belief in my own morals to try to get you to read this story. I can't think of a heartier, firmer recommendation than that.

Best FF That Shows Us That to Everything, There Is a Season, and a Fan Fiction for Every Sexual Act Under Heaven. Pushover, by Shalott, aka astolat. Mr. & Mrs. Smith, John Smith/Jane Smith. (And, yeah, you'll definitely need to have seen the movie to read this. But it is a marital, martial good time, so, you know, no hardship there.) I'm ending this set with - well, with more movie-based het. But there's a difference! Because this is het based on a movie that does not begin with B! And every other thing about this story is different, too, except that it is also very, very good. And, okay. I don't want to describe and discuss the sex act central to this story, because that pretty much is the story. But I will say that it has never appealed to me in the slightest particular. It doesn't even squick me. It just leaves me indifferent and sort of vaguely looking around for something else to do. Maybe a snack or a comic book or something. But this sex act is so in character for that charming couple next door, the Smiths, that I love it in this story. In fact, in a very real sense, this is the characters: their entire dynamic and the entire movie, summed up in less than 800 words, so apparently we didn't need all the bullets and mayhem after all. Just one, um, assistive device. Plus Shalott. But, hey, that's probably true of The Godfather and Casablanca and Dr. Strangelove, too, although we'd probably need a different device. At least, I hope to god we would, because if you put Ilsa and Rick in the places of Mr. and Mrs. Smith in this story, it suddenly becomes...surreal. To put it mildly. Oh my god, I'm sorry I ever even thought of it. Must go exorcise these images from my brain right now, or they will haunt me forever. Bye, y'all!

-Footnotes-

* Can someone more knowledgeable about Boondock Saints (I've seen the movie, but I don't remember this name appearing in the subtitles) confirm the spelling of the brothers' surname? This is how IMDb has it, but - these guys are Irish(-American). That's the whole point, that they're Irish. And yet this last name does not seem so Irish. So I'm confused, and I would welcome enlightenment.

** Do these guys even have last names? I honestly have no idea.